


Coffee and Juice Boxes

by sam_gamgee



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-19
Updated: 2009-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-11 03:19:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_gamgee/pseuds/sam_gamgee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens at a Parents Without Partners meeting doesn't always stay at a Parents Without Partners meeting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee and Juice Boxes

The moment he saw him, John knew things could not end well. The kid, who couldn’t have been more than six, was kneeling on a skateboard as it careened towards the refreshment table. At the last possible second, John stuck his foot out and planted it on the back of the skateboard, stopping it from bumping the table.

As he took his foot off the board, John said, “You should watch where you’re going, buddy.”

The kid simply gave him an assessing look and said, “You’re tall.”

“Jericho Ian Euler McKay!” came a panicked voice from nearby as John and Jericho both looked to see the kid’s dad rushing over. “What have I told you about riding your skateboard indoors?”

John raised an eyebrow at the kid and Jericho rolled his eyes. Jericho sighed and replied, “Not to do it?”

“Exactly. So, surrender it and go play with the other kids. You’ll get it back when we leave.”

Jericho sighed again as he stood and handed over the skateboard. “All right,” he sighed before trundling off to play with some other kids.

“I’m sorry,” Rodney apologized to John. Looking after Jericho, he said, “Things have been hard on him lately – between losing his mom and us moving out here, he –”

“Don’t worry about it,” John replied easily. “No harm was done, all crises were averted, and no coffee was spilled. I think we’re safe.”

“There’s coffee?” Rodney asked, eyes going wide and zeroing in on the coffee pot.

John laughed. “The name’s John Sheppard.”

“Rodney McKay,” Rodney replied as he poured a cup of coffee. “So, which one’s yours?”

Pointing her out, he said, “The little curly-haired brunette in the purple polka-dotted dress. Her name’s Lizzie.” After taking a sip of his coffee, he asked, “So when did you two move out here?”

“Middle of last week,” Rodney replied. “Jericho started in the first grade this past Monday. He might be in your daughter’s class. At least we moved early enough that I don’t think he’s missed much.”

John nodded. “Yeah, only two weeks worth of school, maybe. I remember she mentioned there was a new kid in class. Where did you two move into?”

“Uh…Porter Square? Westbridge Rd.”

“Okay, everyone, I’d like to get started,” Laura said. “So, could all of the adults please take a seat?” After everyone had done so, she continued, “I see we have a few new faces, so welcome. My name’s Laura Cadman and I’m a widowed mother of twin girls. We’re not going to put you on the spot, but please introduce yourselves to people so we can get to know you and help support you. Also, if you have any questions about anything, *please* ask. Now, moving on to our first order of business, we have a short talk on setting responsible bed times by –”

 

As they walked to their cars after the meeting, John asked Rodney, “So, what’d you think?”

“It wasn’t horrible,” Rodney replied. “I believe we might come back.”

“Good.” John grinned. “I know Jericho seemed excited about some of the trips we have planned.”

“Yes, well, here’s our car,” Rodney said as they stopped in front of a Toyota Camry, and John wasn’t disappointed – he had figured Rodney would have a sensible car. And, putting two and two together, he remembered seeing the car with the out-of-state plates in front of the Wilsons’ old house the past few days.

“Think you can find your way home?” John joked as he opened the door to the Jeep next to Rodney’s car.

Straightening up from strapping Jericho into his booster seat, Rodney replied a little warily, “I think so, why?”

John lifted Lizzie into her booster seat. “Because I live down the street from you and I was going to tell you to follow me home if you weren’t sure how to get there.”

“Oh.” Rodney’s expression relaxed. “That sounds like a good idea.”

 

“Can Jericho and I be friends?” Lizzie asked as John tucked her in later that evening.

“You two go to school together and he lives down the street,” John replied. “Why wouldn’t you be friends?”

She shrugged with one shoulder. “Dunno. Are you and his daddy going to be friends?”

“I’m sure we will – they live down the street, Jericho goes to your school, and we go to Lonely Mommies and Daddies Group together.”

“Did Jericho’s mommy go away too?” she asked, biting her lower lip.

“I don’t know if she did,” John replied, smoothing down the covers. “I’ll ask, okay?” Lizzie nodded and John kissed her forehead. “Now go to sleep.”

 

“Are we going to the aquarium today?” Lizzie asked a few mornings later as she ate a piece of pancake.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” John replied as he dished out the last two pancakes onto his plate. “And, yes, we’re going to the aquarium today. But we have to go grocery shopping first.”

Lizzie sighed. “I want to go to the aquarium now.”

“We can’t go until later, Lizzie.” John put butter and syrup on his pancakes. “Miss Johansen has our tickets and we won’t see her until later. But we’ll see if Jericho can play before that, okay?”

She brightened. “Okay.”

Pulling out a piece of paper and a pen, he asked, “So, what do you want from the grocery store?”

 

Two and a half hours later, John and Lizzie were knocking on the McKays’ door. There was a pause between the knock and what sounded like a cyclone coming directly for the door that stopped suddenly and was followed by a hushed “Jericho Ian Euler McKay, what have I told you about opening doors to strangers?” There was a slight pause and the door whipped open to reveal a disheveled Rodney McKay and a contrite, but expectant, Jericho McKay.

“Where can I buy a piano?” Rodney demanded without preamble.

John gaped for a second, looking between Rodney and Jericho. “Don’t you think he’s a little young to be buying a piano for?” he asked.

“It’s not for him. I’m a concert pianist and there was no way I was bringing my piano from Toronto. So,” he snapped his fingers a few times, “where can I buy a piano?”

John shrugged. “Look in the phone book.” He tapped Lizzie on the shoulder and she held out the plastic bag she had been patiently holding. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

Rodney took the bag, perplexed, before saying to Jericho, “Why don’t you show Lizzie your toys?” Jericho grinned and Lizzie looked up at John, who nodded, and they ran off into the house. “You may as well come in,” Rodney said as he looked in the bag. “Who shops like this?” he asked, rummaging among the coffee can, animal crackers, bread, peanut butter, jelly, and juice boxes, as John followed him inside and shut the door.

“My mom had a habit of welcoming people to the neighborhood by pounding them – giving them a pound of various necessities to help them out until they could get themselves set up.” John rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t sure what to get you and Jericho, so I hope that’ll do.”

“We’ve already been to the store, but the gesture’s appreciated,” Rodney replied as he led John back to the kitchen and set the bag on the bar, which still had the remains of their brunch. “Although, I will admit that your intuition in choosing the right items is uncanny. We go through these items like a fish through water.”

“So, what made you move here from Toronto?” John asked, leaning lightly against the bar. “I’m sure they have better opportunities for concert pianists than we do.”

“Maybe so,” Rodney replied off-handedly as he topped off his coffee mug. When he silently offered, John nodded and Rodney got out another mug. “But I needed to get away after…. And Denver was the first place that seemed even remotely acceptable.”

“What about Jericho?” John asked, accepting the coffee, not exactly sure if Rodney was allowing him to pry, or if he was going to be overstepping his bounds. “Wouldn’t it have been better for him to stay where he had a familiar support system?”

Rodney half-shrugged as he returned the coffee pot to the coffee maker. “Katie’s parents weren’t very fond of me because they thought I had forced her to get pregnant and was keeping her in Toronto against her will – they’re from America. My parents weren’t very fond of me because I decided to become a pianist instead of a physicist, and they died a few years ago in a car accident. Katie was an only child and I haven’t talked to my sister in years. I think she’s upset at me for ‘turning my back on science, becoming a pianist, and marrying a flutist’.”

John took a sip of coffee as he processed what Rodney did and didn’t say and considered his words before asking, “How did she die?”

“Addison’s Disease,” Rodney replied with a sigh. “She was one of those very rare cases that presented early, but she got a handle on it and she was doing great. Then last year, things just spiraled out of control and no matter what she and her doctor did, they couldn’t get it under control.” He looked down into his coffee, as if willing himself to hold it together.

“How did Jericho take it?” John asked softly after Rodney’s pause started to stretch into something longer, knowing that redirecting the conversation, however slightly, could help get Rodney back on an even keel.

Rodney half-shrugged and looked up at John. “He seems to be doing okay. He still asks about her sometimes. I – um – I told him that she wasn’t feeling good and had to go away to get better, but that it might take a long time. And then my mother-in-law had to burst that bubble and tell him in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t coming back, ever – that that was what happened when people died. It was then I realized there was no way I could stay there and that I didn’t want them to have any more influence on Jericho.”

“I thought you said they live in the U.S.?”

“They do,” Rodney replied with a nod. “In Buffalo, New York. We saw them fairly frequently, since it’s a two hour drive.”

“But what about friends, other family members?”

Rodney shook his head. “There really wasn’t any other family – at least none that the three of us were close to. I did have some friends, but no one really close. Jericho’s an easy-going kid – I don’t think he’ll have a hard time adjusting. I told him we were going on an adventure for a while and you would’ve thought I told him it was Christmas.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Rodney,” John said, knowing the words were inadequate.

“Thanks,” Rodney replied, draining the dregs out of his cup. “What about you?”

John opened his mouth to answer as Jericho and Lizzie ran in. “When are we going to the aquarium?” Jericho asked.

John and Rodney both looked at the clock. “We should leave soon,” John said.

Rodney nodded. “I’ll clean up and we can go – if you two are ready.”

“We are,” John replied. “Do you need to go to the bathroom, Lizzie?” he asked and she shook her head.

“Go get your sneakers, Jericho,” Rodney said as he cleared the dishes off the counter top. Jericho raced off and Lizzie fidgeted in the doorway.

“Did you like seeing Jericho’s toys, kiddo?” John asked as Lizzie came over to him.

She nodded and smiled. “He has a lot of reading books and coloring books and games and some video games.” She made a face on the last option.

“Not a fan of video games?” Rodney asked, amused.

“Not really,” John replied. “And I try to limit her TV time.”

“So, you’re not the only one. It seems like I only meet parents who are either totally against television or they let their kids watch as much as they want of whatever they want.”

John lifted Lizzie up onto a bar stool. “Lizzie gets a half hour every day, Saturday cartoons, and once a week I’ll let her watch a movie. Right, kiddo?” She nodded. “Tell Rodney your favorite show.”

“Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends,” she answered, beaming.

“No wonder she and Jericho seem to hit it off,” Rodney commented as he finished loading the dishwasher and started wiping down the counter. “He absolutely loves that show. Jericho watches about the same, but sometimes I’ll cave and let him watch more if there’s a show on about something I know he’ll like or he’s interested in at the time.”

Jericho came racing back downstairs. “Is it time to go yet?” he asked breathlessly.

“In a minute,” Rodney replied. “I have to get ready. Do you need to use the bathroom?” Jericho shook his head as Rodney filled a travel mug with coffee. “Are you sure?” he asked as he pulled on a pair of sneakers and Jericho shook his head again. “Okay, then no complaining on the way over, okay?”

“Okay,” Jericho replied as Rodney grabbed his keys, wallet, and watch off the kitchen table.

As they shrugged into their coats, John said, “I’ll drive.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied with a smile as he locked up behind them.

“I’m glad Terri was able to find someone for those last two tickets,” John said as they crossed the street and walked down a house to his car, Jericho and Lizzie running ahead of them.

“I’m glad I found something for him to do today, even if I should be unpacking,” Rodney said. “Driving for three days with a six year old is not the best idea. If I do this again, I’m shipping the important stuff and we’ll fly.” Seeing John’s Jeep, he said, “Wait. We’re going in that?”

“Why not?”

“Well, it’s – it’s,” Rodney grumbled and fell silent as he pursed his lips together.

 

The foursome met up with half of their Parents Without Partners group at the aquarium half an hour later. The kids enjoyed the aquarium with gusto as they asked their parents, and any aquarium worker they could corner, questions about every aspect of sea life and ‘oooh’-ed and ‘aaah’-ed over the different exhibits. John knew, though, that the highlight of the day was the dolphin show at the end. The kids thought it was the most awesome thing they had ever seen and the parents were glad to sit in one place with their kids relatively quiet for more than two seconds.

Afterwards, they split up and everyone went their own way for dinner. “Can we have McDonald’s?” Jericho asked his dad, and glanced at John.

John shrugged. “It’s okay with me if it’s okay with you.”

“Sure, Jericho,” Rodney replied. “We can have McDonald’s.”

Lizzie tugged on John’s sleeve as Jericho grinned. “Daddy, I don’t like McDonald’s.”

“I know you don’t, kiddo,” John said, looking down at her, “but do you think you could at least try for me?”

“Maybe. Will there be a ball pen?”

“Probably.”

“Bad experience?” Rodney asked as they got into John’s Jeep.

“Yeah. She’s a healthy kid, but she got sick from one of her classmates once after we ate there.”

“And inference by proximity,” Rodney supplied.

“Yep,” John replied as he started the Jeep, glad that his driving and the good condition of the Jeep had silenced Rodney’s earlier protests.

Jericho and Lizzie ran around the play area, Jericho’s food halfway eaten but now forgotten and Lizzie’s hardly touched, as John and Rodney ate.

“How are you two settling in?” John asked, munching on a french fry.

“Okay,” Rodney replied. “The paperwork for getting a green card is a bitch, though Katie and Jericho being U.S. citizens helps. And like I said before, I don’t think I’ll ever drive that distance with Jericho again. The past couple days I feel like I’ve mostly been dealing with getting him adjusted more than anything else.” He smiled as he watched Jericho chase Lizzie around a corner of the play area. “He’s got more energy than I know how to handle.”

John laughed. “I’m sure we’ll find a way to help you both deal. Did you want some help unpacking? Lizzie and I could come over and I could help you while the two of them played together.”

Rodney waited to answer until after he took a sip of soda. “That would be great. And let me know if there’s something I could do to repay you.”

John nodded. “Will do. Think we should corral our spawn and make them finish their food?”

 

The following day resulted in, not unpacking, but going in search of a piano because Rodney had decided that the keyboard he had brought with him wasn’t hacking it anymore and he *needed* a *real* piano *right* *now*. John had inwardly rolled his eyes, but agreed to help him. This resulted in carting Rodney and the two kids to a couple of different music and specialty shops around the city before Rodney decided on one that was worth a more in-depth look.

The store’s owner, a slight man from the Czech Republic with wild hair and glasses named Radek, was knowledgeable about the instruments that he sold and was more patient with Rodney than John would have been if their roles had been reversed. John just stood back and tried to keep Jericho from getting out of hand as Lizzie carefully looked at some of the pianos near them with a mix of awe and trepidation.

But when Rodney sat down at one of the pianos and began to play, John could hardly remember to breathe, let alone keep track of their kids. He had never been a big fan of piano music – he had always felt it was too classical and pretentious – but the music that Rodney coaxed out of the instrument was the most beautiful, aching, haunting, melancholy thing he had ever heard.

Lizzie, on the other hand, was totally enraptured the moment Rodney began to play.

Lizzie tugged on John’s hand and, after blinking and taking a deep breath, he looked down at her, she whispered, “Daddy, can I learn to play like Mr. Rodney?”

“I’m sure learning to play like that took a long time and a lot of practice,” John replied.

“Okay,” she said after a moment of consideration. “Can I?”

“We’ll look into it when we get home, okay?” he replied and she nodded with a smile, before turning back to listen to Rodney.

When Rodney finished, he simply sat at the piano for a long moment, his fingers gently ghosting over the keys lovingly, before saying to Radek, who had been breathlessly listening off to one side, “I’ll take it,” and moving to fill out the paperwork.

While the kids happily chattered in the backseat, neither adult said anything on the way home. “I haven’t properly played since before Katie died,” Rodney said quietly when they pulled into John’s driveway and John cut the engine. “Probably not since she got sick this last time. It felt…” Rodney paused a moment. “It felt good. She always enjoyed listening to me play.”

John stayed quiet, not sure what to say, while the kids scrambled to get out of the Jeep.

“Thanks,” Rodney finally managed.

“You’re welcome,” John replied. “What did Radek have to say while you two were filling out the paperwork?”

“Who? Oh, the store owner. He wanted to know if I was offering lessons – apparently people come in all the time and ask him about that stuff. I told him I’d have to think about it.”

“Have you done that before?” John asked, getting out.

“A few times, but I tend to have a short attention span with my students,” Rodney replied, following suit.

“What age range?” John asked as they headed over to Rodney’s place.

“I’ve had a mix. The parents are the worst though – they want their kids to be the next Bach, Beethoven, or Bernstein. And the kids are usually doing it to just make their parents happy.” He followed John up to his front door.

“Favorite students then?” John asked as Rodney unlocked the door and let the four of them inside.

“The adults. They usually just want to brush up on what they learned as children and are actually excited about playing. Though, I did get a few of the kids that were actually into it, and some of them may actually have a chance of succeeding.”

“What about the ones that didn’t?” John asked as Rodney got the kids each a juice box, after getting John’s quick nod of approval. “Why don’t you guys go downstairs and play?” The kids smiled and scampered off. “Do you want something to drink? I’ve got water, juice, ice tea, and soda.”

“Soda’s good.” John took the proffered can and opened it.

Rodney continued, “I never told them they couldn’t. I know some good musicians that have succeeded through sheer force of will rather than talent. And I know what it’s like to have negative teachers. I had one that told me that I was too technical and I’d never succeed. I went home and told my parents I wanted to change teachers, and that summer I went to acting camp. Did – or do – you play an instrument?”

“I didn’t really as a kid, but I learned in high school and played some through college. I haven’t really picked up the guitar since Lizzie was born, though.”

“Electric or acoustic?”

“I can play both, but I prefer the acoustic. I like the sound and feel of it more.”

“At least you have some taste. Can you play Stairway to Heaven?”

“No. I was determined to not learn it, since everyone who’s had more than two lessons seems to know how to play it.”

Rodney staggered and grabbed the counter, a shocked look on his face. “Oh my God. There is some hope for guitarists everywhere.”

John laughed as he folded his arms and leaned against the counter. “Do I pass your test?”

“Yes, you’re not a complete heathen – even if the guitar is a bit… provincial.”

John feigned outrage. “I’ll have you know the guitar is a respectable instrument and that I can play classical guitar pieces.”

Rodney looked at him defiantly. “Name three.”

“Brookland Boogie by Brian Head, Vivaldi’s done some concertos, and Malcolm Arnold’s Fantasy has a guitar solo in it.”

“Okay,” Rodney sniffed. “I guess you do know what you’re talking about. Well, since you don’t play music for a living, what do you do?”

“I’m a mathematics professor at Denver University. I mainly teach graduate classes, but I also have to do a section of undergrad a semester since I’m not technically tenured.”

Rodney stared at him for a moment. “Well, that’s… unexpected. You just don’t seem like the type.”

John smirked as he replied, “And what type do I look like? A kindergarten teacher?”

“Yeah… kind of?” Rodney replied uncertainly. He waved in John’s general direction. “I think it’s the hair. And the fact that you’re so laid back. You don’t seem smart enough to be a graduate level math professor.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a front,” John replied with an easy smile. “Like you, I’ve had some contention with my family over my line of work, so I tend not to broadcast it very often.” Changing the subject, he said, “So, if you’d like some help unpacking, we should get on that.”

“Now?” Rodney asked, confused.

“Why not now?” John replied with a shrug as he surveyed the stacks of boxes – some of which were opened and had their insides laying on the floor around them. “You’re going to have a baby grand piano delivered in a few days and, frankly, you probably don’t have anywhere to put it because of all the boxes. Besides, I’m sure it’ll be much easier for you and Jericho to find things if you took it out of the boxes. Not to mention safer with him running around.”

“You’ve got a good point,” Rodney replied with a sigh. “Okay. Let’s go check on the kids first, then we’ll get started. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.” John followed him, amused, as they headed down the steps and into the finished rec room – which was slightly more set up than what John had seen of the rest of the house, with toys strewn around the room. At least it looked comfortable.

The kids were quietly playing a board game. They looked up questioningly as Rodney and John appeared.

“We just wanted to make sure you two were doing okay,” John told them. “You know how us parents get when we think things are too quiet.” He made a silly face and the kids smiled.

“Jericho has Candyland, Daddy,” Lizzie told him happily.

“I can see that,” he said. “Are you two having a good time?”

They both nodded.

“Good, good,” Rodney said. “Well, John is going to help me put some things away while you two are playing, okay? We’ll be right upstairs if you need us.”

“What are we doing for dinner, Dad?” Jericho asked him.

“I don’t know yet,” Rodney told him. “We’ll see when it gets a little closer to dinnertime.”

Jericho nodded and turned his attention back to the game.

As John and Rodney headed back upstairs, Rodney quietly said, “I think our novelty has worn off.”

John chuckled as he said, “Wait until it’s dinner time, then we’ll be the coolest thing on the planet.”

“Or possibly the galaxy, if we play our cards right,” Rodney replied.

“Where do you want to start?” John asked him as he surveyed the living room.

“Let’s start in the back,” Rodney told him, leading him towards the back of the house and into a second living room of sorts. “I was thinking of putting the piano back here, since it’s the smaller room. While I’m proud of what I do, I don’t want to lord it over anyone. Besides, if I have the piano in the front room, I’ll be asked all the time to play or if I give lessons or if I’d like to be a part of some sort of charity event or something.”

“Speaking of playing,” John asked as he leaned against the doorframe, “do you have a job? Of course you do, otherwise why would you come to Denver?”

“Unofficially, I have a job with the Colorado Symphony,” Rodney told him as he went into the room and surveyed the space. “But there’s no actual formality to it yet. I technically still have to go in and audition and such. But that’s just a formality.”

“And when are you going to do that?” John asked him.

“Tomorrow,” Rodney replied absently as he shifted a couple of boxes around and then looked around the room again and sighed.

“You’ve been telling yourself that since Jericho started school, haven’t you?” John replied knowingly.

“And if I said yes?” Rodney asked, looking up at him.

John shrugged. “I can’t say anything about that. How did you get a visa so quickly?”

“Katie and I had been planning on moving to this side of the border for a while, so the paperwork was already in the works and most of the way done. And to be honest, I think I just got lucky, since everything literally started falling into my lap after Katie died.”

“I have an idea – how about I pick Jericho up from the bus tomorrow when I get Lizzie so you can go do your audition and you won’t have to worry about him?”

“You’ll do that for me?” Rodney looked surprised.

“Why not?” John asked with a casual shrug. To close the subject, he said, “I think you should put the piano in the corner over by the windows there, so you can use the natural light during the day to practice.” Glancing around the ceiling and the walls, John continued, “And the lighting they already have in here should be good for once it gets dark.” Patting a nearby bookcase, he said, “Where do you want these?”

“Ummm.” Rodney looked around before gesturing to the wall on the other side of the windows. “Over here.”

They moved the bookcases into place before attacking the boxes and putting away stacks of sheet music, cds, and cassette tapes, as well as a stereo. Once it was done and the boxes and packing materials had been cleaned up, they surveyed the room in satisfaction.

“It’ll look better once the piano’s in here,” Rodney told John.

“And you should get a couple plants,” John added. “It’ll give the room a bit of warmth.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “We’ll see. Provided that they can do with very little attention.”

“What room’s next?” John asked.

“Let’s do the front living room,” Rodney replied. “I have a feeling that it’s going to be needed sooner rather than later.”

“Out of curiosity, what made you decide to go to a PWP meeting before you were even fully settled in?” John asked as they headed back to the front of the house.

Rodney shrugged as they moved the smaller boxes off to the sides of the room. “I don’t know, really. I was feeling cooped up in the house, I guess. Umm – let’s put the TV here.” He gestured to the wall between the front window and the door. “Not that I was much of a social butterfly before Katie’s death, but just after everything that’s been happening lately, I just couldn’t stay inside and stare at the walls any longer. And I figured it would be good for Jericho if he could make some friends who knew what it was like to have only one parent around. Make the transition easier, you know?”

John nodded as they set the TV’s box down and opened it up to put the TV on the stand. “I know how that is. Lizzie’s mom left practically right after she was born, and I went because I felt completely lost and figured that there had to be a few women there that could help me out.” At Rodney’s look, he sheepishly said, “Yes, I totally played the sympathetic fish-out-of-water sob-story card.”

“What about your mom or your mother-in-law?” Rodney asked as he positioned the TV, but left the cables in the box for later.

“My mom was here for a few days,” John replied, “but she had to get home – my dad hasn’t been doing too well the past few years. “Where do you want the couch?”

“Let’s put it in front of the TV,” Rodney replied.

“And Lizzie’s mom and I weren’t married,” John replied as they moved the couch into position. “I only met Nancy’s parents once – she and they weren’t close. I don’t think they even knew she was pregnant.”

“Ouch,” Rodney sympathized as they moved the two armchairs into place next. “So, why did she have the baby if she obviously didn’t want it?”

“She wanted it at first,” John told him. “She was really excited – decorating the room and buying stuff and all of that. It was the happiest I’d seen her in a long time. It definitely brought us closer together – we’d been in a rough patch for a while and that definitely seemed to help us smooth things over. I thought we were going to be able to make it work.” The end tables were next as he said, “But I guess once she’d had the baby, Nancy realized how much work it was going to be, and she left. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Haven’t you tried to find her?” Rodney asked as he began digging into one of the boxes and pulling out items before stuffing them back in and handing John the box and going into the next one. “Here – these dvds can go over by the TV.”

“I did – but nothing,” John replied as he put the box down. “She wouldn’t answer her cell phone. None of her friends or anyone at work knew anything. I filed a missing person report after a couple days, but that didn’t turn anything up either. I even tried her parents, but they hadn’t heard anything either. And when I told them about Lizzie, they didn’t seem to believe it that Nancy would have a child and didn’t want to have anything to do with her.” He took the pillows Rodney handed him and arranged them on the couch. “And they never were big fans of mine.”

“I’m sorry,” Rodney told him. “I always thought death was the worst – knowing I’m never going to see Katie again is killing me, but I think your situation’s got mine beat. At least I have closure, even if I hate it.”

“Thanks for that,” John replied sarcastically.

“Sorry,” Rodney replied sheepishly. “My people skills are crap normally. Put me in a situation like this and...” He trailed off.

“I know what you mean,” John replied. “I’m not much better usually.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “What next?”

They worked quietly for another hour or so and moved from finishing the living room to putting away the last odds and ends in the rest of the first floor.

“Upstairs is mostly done, already,” Rodney told him. “I made sure Jericho’s room was done first – I figured that if it was done, it would give him a sense of relative normalcy. Or, at least, that’s what I keep hearing. And mine’s mostly done just out of necessity. I can finish it up later.”

John nodded as he looked around. “Well, things look a lot more comfortable now.”

Jericho and Lizzie came running upstairs. “My stomach’s making weird noises,” Jericho announced. “Is it dinner time yet?”

John and Rodney both looked up at the clock and saw that it was almost 6:30. “It most definitely is,” Rodney replied.

“It’s past our dinnertime, isn’t it?” John remarked to Lizzie. “Are you having a good time?”

She nodded and smiled. “We’ve been playing lots of games. And Jericho has neat toys.”

“What do you want to do for dinner?” Rodney asked John.

John shrugged. “We’re pretty flexible.”

“Can we have pizza?” Jericho asked.

“Yeah, pizza!” Lizzie added happily. “Please?” she asked John.

John shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

“Great.” Rodney dug out the phone book and began flipping through. “But don’t even think about paying. I’m buying you dinner for helping me unpack. Jericho – do you and Lizzie want go watch TV while we wait?” Belatedly, he glanced up at John for his approval.

“Fine with me,” John replied and the kids ran into the living room and a moment later the TV was on. “Call Angelo’s,” he tapped a spot on the page, “they’ve got the best pizza.”

After quibbling over toppings for a moment, Rodney placed the call and they headed in to watch cartoons with the kids. After a quiet moment, Lizzie got off the couch and joined John on his chair. He cradled her in his lap and she tucked her head under his chin.

“Don’t you think you’re getting a bit big for this, kiddo?” he asked her quietly.

She shook her head vigorously before saying, “I’m never too big. You said so.”

“So, I did,” he replied with a small smile as he rubbed her back. “Is everything okay?”

“Did the same thing happen to Mommy that happened to Jericho’s mommy?” she asked.

John inwardly groaned. He *really* didn’t want to have that conversation right now. “No. Mommy went away, remember?”

“I know. But so did Jericho’s mommy.”

“You remember when we talked about death, right? And what happened to Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s sort of like what happened with Jericho’s mommy.” John continued to rub her back. “Your mommy just went away – like we do when we go on vacation.”

“Then why hasn’t she come back or called or sent postcards?”

“I don’t know,” John admitted honestly.

“Did she get lost?”

“I don’t think she did. I think she’s just taking the long way home.” ‘The *really* long way home,’ he thought to himself as he held Lizzie tight. “But you know that if I ever go anywhere, you’re coming with me.”

“I know.” She snuggled against him and sighed.

John caught Rodney’s gaze over the top of her head and saw a similar sadness there. Thankfully, Jericho seemed to be unaware of what was going on.

Dinner was a subdued affair once the pizza arrived, though both Rodney and Jericho agreed that the pizza was great. After they cleaned up, John and Lizzie went home and she curled up next to him on the couch with a book while he graded papers.

 

“Now, remember to do what John says and be good,” Rodney told Jericho the next morning at the bus stop.

“I will,” Jericho replied in exasperation and John could tell that this wasn’t the first time they’d gone through this.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine, Rodney,” John told him. “Right, Jericho?” Jericho nodded as John continued, “We’ll have a lot of fun this afternoon. And tonight we’ll do something for dinner and you can tell us about the audition.”

“Okay,” Rodney replied with a sigh. Quietly, he told John, “It’s just that this is the first time I’ve really left him on his own aside from school and…”

“I hate to break it to you, but I doubt he’ll really notice,” John told him. “And, believe me, I’m good at distractions. We’ll be fine until you get back.”

“Okay, okay,” Rodney said as the bus pulled up. “Have a great day at school, Jericho.”

“Bye, Dad,” Jericho replied with a wave before getting on the bus without another look.

“Have fun today, okay?” John told Lizzie.

She nodded before giving him a hug. “Love you, Daddy.” She got on the bus and waved from her seat next to Jericho.

Rodney sighed as the bus pulled away. “Why do I feel like such a bad dad?”

“You’re not a bad dad,” John told him. “You need to do this so you can provide for him and yourself,” John replied. “Want to come in for coffee?”

“No, thanks – I’ve got my own. Besides, you’ve got to get to work.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Like I said – everything will be fine this afternoon. Don’t worry about Jericho.”

“You’ve got the instructions I gave you?”

John nodded with a grin. “And the phone numbers. You have the directions?”

“Yep. Okay, I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

“Later, Rodney,” John replied before going into the house to clean up before heading to work.

 

Later that evening, John opened the front door to a tired looking Rodney McKay. “You look horrible,” he said as Rodney entered. “How did it go?”

“It went great,” Rodney replied with a tired sigh as John shut the door behind him. “Traffic home was a bear, though. Something smells good.”

“Thanks, I decided to make spaghetti,” John replied. “Figured it’d be an easy dinner for us. I’ll put the pasta on and it’ll be ready in a few minutes. The kids are out back.”

“Was Jericho good?” Rodney asked as he followed John into the kitchen.

“He’s been great, so don’t worry. He told me he’s interested in doing sports, and I can help you with that, if you want – figuring out registration and all that – and maybe play around with him some so he can figure out what he likes.”

“That would be great. I want him to do all that sort of stuff, but I’m not very athletically inclined, so he’s been woefully lacking in that area. So, if you don’t mind…”

“Not at all,” John replied as he filled a pot with water and set it on the stove to boil. Turning around and leaning back against the counter, he said, “While you were playing the other night, Lizzie told me she wanted to learn. Would you mind giving her a couple lessons so she can try it out? I’ll still pay you and all.”

“Sure, I’ll teach her,” Rodney told him. “But don’t worry about the money – with how much you and Lizzie have been doing for Jericho and me. It’s the least I can do.”

“Are you sure?” John asked.

“Positive.”

“Dad!” Jericho yelled as he and Lizzie came running into the kitchen. “How long have you been here?”

“Just got here a few minutes ago,” Rodney told him, as he gave him a hug. “Did you have a good day?”

Jericho nodded vigorously. “I like school here. And after school, Mr. John played catch with us and tag and we had a great time.”

“I’m glad. Why don’t you go get cleaned up? Dinner’s almost ready.”

“We’re eating here?” Jericho looked at him wide-eyed.

“Yes, we are. Mr. John’s cooking for us.”

“Daddy’s making spaghetti,” Lizzie stage whispered to Jericho with a smile. “It’s yummy. Come on.” She took his hand and tugged him towards the bathroom.

“Well, I’m glad they’re getting along,” Rodney said. “It’ll be good for him to make friends here.”

“Me too,” John replied as he dumped the pasta in the water. “Lizzie needs more friends – she tends to be too serious. Want a beer?” he asked as he opened the refrigerator.

“Sure,” Rodney replied as he leaned against the counter.

The kids came back a moment later and proudly showed off their clean hands. John praised them before handing Lizzie the silverware to set the table. Once everything was ready, they all sat down to eat.

“Thanks for this,” Rodney told John as they cut up their kids’ noodles and meatballs.

“No problem,” John replied casually. “I figured you’d both enjoy it and it’s easy enough. Besides, if you like it, I might be able to use it as a bargaining chip in our agreement.”

“I might have underestimated your evilness level, John Sheppard,” Rodney replied.

John smirked as he took a long sip of his beer before asking, “So, how did your audition go?”

“As good as I had expected,” Rodney beamed. “I *am* a genius when it comes to piano playing. I have to go in tomorrow morning to fill out the paperwork and such, but I’ll be home by lunch. The piano’s getting delivered tomorrow afternoon.”

“That’s great,” John replied with a smile, as both the kids cheered. “And about the bus –” John looked sheepish. “Would you mind taking Lizzie for me? I’ve got office hours and Teyla and Ronon – the next door neighbors – usually watch her, but they’re out of town this week. I’ve been calling around, but I can’t seem to get hold of anyone.”

“That’s not a problem,” Rodney replied. “And that’ll give us a chance to make up a schedule – if you’re free tomorrow evening.”

“What schedule, Daddy?” Lizzie asked him.

“Rodney’s agreed to teach you piano. And I told him I’d help Jericho figure out what sort of sport – or sports – he likes so he can join them when they start.”

The kids both grinned at each other and Rodney whispered to John, “I think we’ve got a crush on our hands.”

“And that’s a bad thing because?” John asked. “Besides, I think they’re just excited because all of this is new for them.”

 

After that, things settled into a routine for the Sheppards and McKays. While the kids were at school, John and Rodney would go to their respective jobs. Then either one or both of them would get the kids off the bus in the afternoon, depending on John’s office hours, Rodney’s practice times with the Symphony, or the few lessons Rodney had agreed to take on in order to get a discount on his piano.

Once the kids got home, they would let them run around outside for a while to work off any excess energy, before John would take Jericho for a while to teach him the basics of various sports. In the meantime, Rodney took Lizzie and began teaching her the piano. When it got dark, they would congregate at either one house or the other to make dinner and discuss their days while the kids worked on their homework.

“So, what do you think?” Rodney asked one evening as he cut up some vegetables. “Do you think Jericho’s got any talent? Or is he always going to be the last kid picked?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him,” John replied as he looked up from where he was helping the kids with their math homework. “He’s definitely got a fair amount of raw ability that I think will serve him well once he figures out how he wants to focus it. Right, buddy?” he asked Jericho.

Jericho nodded vigorously. “I’ve been having a great time with Mr. John, Dad,” he told him. “Can I sign up for everything?”

“We’ll see,” Rodney replied with a laugh as he put the vegetables in the pan. To John, he said, relieved, “I was always the last kid picked, and I don’t want him to go through what I did – it was horrible. And I’ll have you know that Lizzie’s doing quite well with her lessons. It’s too early to tell if she’ll be a virtuoso, but I think she’s displaying an incredible amount of talent for someone her age.”

“Are you enjoying it, kiddo?” John asked her.

Lizzie nodded as she looked up at him. “Mr. Rodney’s showing me how to play all sorts of pretty music and he says I’m one of his best students, even if he gets a little grouchy sometimes.”

John narrowed his gaze at Rodney, who raised his hands in defense. “It was one bad day, and I was yelling at someone about my visa on the phone when she came in, I swear,” Rodney replied quickly. “And, I will admit that I’ve been told I have a bad temper, but, regardless of what other people might think, I do know when is an appropriate time and place to blow off steam. Okay, kids, time to clean up and get ready for dinner.”

The kids hopped down and ran for the bathroom as John cleaned up their homework and put it the right folders.

“You really shouldn’t encourage them that way,” Rodney remarked. “They won’t learn responsibility if they don’t do it themselves.”

“I know, but you heard me tell them earlier I’d clean it up if they finished it before dinner,” John told him. “And they did. I think this is a small price to pay. At their age, I’ll take academic prowess over tidiness.”

“Of course you would,” Rodney replied dryly as John joined him at the stove. “You’re a professor.”

John just grinned at him as he grabbed an extra carrot stick and bit into it. “So, what do you think about some of the activities I proposed for the group?”

“I think they’re good – very culturally-oriented…”

“Says the concert pianist,” John added with a wink as the kids came back in and started setting the table.

“And I don’t think kids are ever too young to be presented with a wide range of activities outside of what they might normally get.” Rodney took the pan off the stove and carefully transferred the contents into a dish.

“Good,” John said as he grabbed the water pitcher and bowl of applesauce and took them over to the table. “I’ll give the list to Laura at the next meeting. And I’m putting you down as my co-leader.”

Rodney sputtered as he shut off the stove. “What? Why? My planning skills are crap and I’m a horrible leader! You know this! If it wasn’t for you, I doubt Jericho and I would get out of the house most mornings.” He gestured with an elbow to the whiteboard calendar as he brought the stir-fry over to the table. It hung on the refrigerator covered with Rodney’s scribbled notes, amongst John’s more orderly ones.

“Maybe so, but I think it’s a lot of fun doing it with you. Besides you generally know culture stuff better than I do, even if you haven’t been in Denver that long.” Leaning in to Rodney, he commented in his ear, “Also, if I can maneuver this right, in a few years, Jericho will be asking for Lizzie’s hand in marriage.”

“You are evil, John Sheppard! He will do no such thing!” Rodney replied with a chuckle as he shoved John away and both of their kids looked at them questioningly.

“You wait and see, Rodney. You wait and see,” John replied in amusement as he sat down at the other end of the table and began dishing out applesauce for Jericho and Lizzie and Rodney started dishing out their stir-fry.

They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Rodney quickly got up and grabbed a key off of his key rack.

He handed it to John before sitting back down. “With how much you’re over here, I thought you should have it,” he said at John’s questioning look. “And, you know, in case of emergencies. Because you never know what might happen between my citrus allergy and who knows what else and Jericho – well, there’s the fact that Jericho is a *six-year-old boy*. I’ll also give you all the contact information and allergy lists and such before you go.”

“Actually, you gave me that stuff when I bought you the whiteboard,” John commented. “But thanks for this,” he said, holding up the key before putting it on his key ring. “I’ll give you a copy of mine and all of our info when you come over tomorrow. Like you said – we’re always over at each other’s houses anyway and you never know.”

“Daddy?” Lizzie asked.

“Yeah, kiddo?” John replied.

After a moment’s hesitation, she asked, “Are you and Mr. Rodney getting serious?”

“What do you mean, Lizzie?” John asked lightly, trying to fight back the heat he felt rising in his cheeks as he saw Rodney choke on his water.

She looked up him innocently as she continued, “Well, he just gave you the key to his and Jericho’s house and you said you’d give him a key to our house tomorrow. So, are you and he going to become boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“It’s not quite that simple, honey,” John replied. “There’s a lot more to being boyfriend and girlfriend – or in Rodney and mine’s case, boyfriend and boyfriend – than just giving each other the key to our house. We just want to make sure that if something goes wrong, then someone else will be there for you or Jericho. And what makes you think we’d want to be boyfriends anyway?”

“Well, Keisha’s mommy and daddy act a lot like you and Mr. Rodney do when they come into class. And you don’t have Mommy and Mr. Rodney is missing Mrs. Rodney, so….” She trailed off and shrugged as if it made perfect sense.

John sneaked a glance at Jericho, who was looking at John inquiringly and as if Lizzie’s logic had made perfect sense to him too, before looking at Rodney, who looked completely shell-shocked. “Like I said, it’s not that easy. Just because I don’t have Mommy and Jericho’s mommy is gone, that doesn’t mean that Rodney and I are going to get together. There are a lot of other things involved than just that.”

“Oh,” she replied softly, looking crestfallen.

“Do you want us to get together?” he asked her.

She nodded. “That way we could all live together and Jericho and I could play together whenever we want and not have to go home for bedtime or wait until after school or cartoons in the morning.”

John shook his head as he let out a soft chuckle. ‘Out of the mouths of babes,’ he thought. “Well, we’ll see what we can do about you and Jericho playing together earlier on Saturdays, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied, brightening greatly and Jericho also looked satisfied.

Rodney, on the other hand…. John wasn’t sure if he should call an ambulance or just make him drink some more water and take a few deep breaths. Rodney had his elbow propped up on the table, and his forehead resting in his hand and he was taking slow deep breaths.

“Rodney? You okay there, buddy?” John asked carefully.

“Dad will be fine,” Jericho told John confidently. “Sometimes he gets this way when I ask really big questions.”

“Ah,” John replied with a knowing nod. “Rodney? You still with us?”

Rodney let out a ragged breath before lifting his head. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m fine,” he told them. “I’m sorry,” he said to no one in particular. He took a drink of water and John saw that his eyes were a little wet, but didn’t comment. “So,” he said, changing the topic. “What do you two think we should do with the Lonely Parents Group?”

“Ice skating!” Lizzie replied enthusiastically.

“Bowling!” Jericho replied just as excitedly.

“Horseback riding!”

“Roller skating!”

“A tea party!”

“A skateboarding party!”

Before it could get any more heated, John stepped in. “What about going to the zoo? Or go to the aquarium again? Or a museum? Do you guys think that would be fun?”

The kids both nodded vigorously.

“What if we went to a concert?” Rodney asked. “Or the ballet?”

Jericho wrinkled his nose. “You do concerts all the time, Dad. That’s… ordinary. And the ballet’s for girls.”

“Actually, I have it on very good authority that there are a lot of guys who do ballet,” John told him. “And they’re just as strong – maybe even stronger – than a lot of other athletes. They’d have to be if they had to lift a girl over their head, don’t you think?”

“They really do that?” Jericho replied, his expression showing wide-eyed skepticism. “Why?”

John shrugged. “I’m sure there are a lot of reasons. But it’s pretty cool.”

“Have you seen a ballet, Daddy?” Lizzie asked.

John nodded. “I saw The Nutcracker the Christmas before you were born. It was pretty cool. So, I guess we could plan pretty much anything,” he told Rodney.

“Yeah, it sounds like it,” Rodney replied with a smile. “Why don’t we talk about it tomorrow? Maybe Jericho and I could come over for breakfast and we could do it then?”

“Sure,” John replied. “I can make pancakes or waffles or something.”

“What time?”

“I have a six-year-old and I let her watch Saturday morning cartoons. What time do you think?” John replied dryly.

“Right,” Rodney replied with a nod. “Whenever then.”

They finished dinner and cleaned up, sending the kids downstairs as soon as they had finished helping clear the table.

“Are you okay, Rodney?” John asked as they started washing the dishes.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Rodney replied. “It just hits me sometimes – that Katie’s really gone and that she’s not coming back. And I don’t know if I’m able to do this whole single parenting thing.”

“I think you’re doing a great job of it, from what I’ve seen,” John assured him. “Jericho’s happy and healthy, he knows you love him and that you’re not going anywhere anytime soon, and he seems to be doing pretty good adjusting to Katie’s death. I can’t give you any tips, since Lizzie was only a baby when Nancy left, but I think you’ve got all the important bases covered.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence,” Rodney replied with a shy smile. “So you’re not worried about Lizzie asking if we’re, you know,” he looked around to see if the kids were lurking anywhere nearby, “*gay*?”

John shrugged and rolled his eyes. “It was an innocent question. Like she said – she’s seen us acting like a lot of the parents in our kids’ first grade class do, so it probably makes perfect sense to her then that we’d become ‘Mommy and Daddy’. I highly doubt our kids have any concept of sexuality, gender identity, or any of that stuff at the age of six.”

“Okay, you’ve got a point,” Rodney conceded. “I just wasn’t expecting to have a conversation – or any conversation – that deals with that sort of thing for a *long* time. If, you know – ever.”

“You were kind of hoping Jericho would be smart enough to look up the answers to his questions himself, were you?” John replied knowingly. At Rodney’s nod, he said, “The same thought’s crossed my mind a few times with Lizzie. I never really had that sort of talk with my dad – I don’t know how I’d do it with my *daughter*.” He finished drying a plate and set it on the counter. “Look, if you ever want to talk or anything – you know where to find me.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied as he pulled the plug to let the soapy water out of the sink. “I appreciate it.”

John put the dishes away as Rodney cleaned out the sink, and then dried his hands. He sighed as he shut the last cabinet door. “I don’t wanna do my homework.”

“Then you should’ve thought of that before you became a professor,” Rodney told him.

“Yeah, I know,” John replied as he grabbed his messenger bag from its place by the front door before following Rodney back to the sunroom. “But it was either this or going into some sort of scientific field or think tank or something and I’m *really* not cut out for that line of work.”

“I can’t see you doing mathematical experiments all day either,” Rodney replied as he sat down on the piano bench and began shuffling through the music he had left out. “I have a feeling that some how you’d always end up working on projects like the combustibility of engine fuel or the best way to demolish a building so it would have a spectacular visual effect, yet be completely safe and not cost an insane amount of money.”

John laughed as he pulled out a stack of examination booklets and sat down on the recliner Rodney had placed on the other side of the windows from the piano. “You make it sound like I have some sort of action hero complex or something.”

Rodney finally settled on a piece and spread it out on the piano’s music stand. “I don’t think I’m completely wrong. You always seem to find movies and television shows that have at least one explosion.”

“I’ll have you know that Aladdin didn’t have any.”

“Whatever,” Rodney replied dismissively. “That’s just because I brilliantly pointed out that it might be good if we watched something that would be good for Lizzie for a change and give her imagination a chance too. I’m all for making sure women know how to defend themselves and don’t buy into the idea that they’re helpless waifs that always need a man’s protection, and I think that it’s a good idea for her to have some positive role models.”

“You know, Jasmine was pretty helpless for a good portion of that movie,” John remarked as he dug a red pencil out of his bag.

“But not by her own volition,” Rodney countered. “She knew what she wanted and she went after it.”

“I’m not going to get into it, Rodney,” John replied. “And I am grateful that you’re looking out for my daughter’s well-being.”

“Oh, well, I wasn’t doing it just for her. I thought it might be good for Jericho too.”

“Just practice, Rodney,” John told him as he concentrated on correcting his students’ tests, not wanting Rodney to see how amused he was.

Rodney huffed, but a moment later he started running through scales and then a few other warm-up pieces. They worked comfortably on their own projects for a while. Rodney moved effortlessly from warming up to moving through the pieces he had to learn for the upcoming concerts, running through each a number of times at first slowly and then building up speed, stopping from time to time to work on a passage that gave him trouble. Meanwhile, John worked his way through the tests for his differential equations class before moving on to finessing lesson plans for the next semester and then to checking equations for a student’s thesis he had agreed to advise.

The kids interrupted them a few times for various things – like a drink, a snack, to get down a game, if they could watch TV, but otherwise quietly played by themselves.

John finally sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Okay, I’ve got to stop. The numbers are starting to run together. And threes are starting to look weird.”

“Threes are starting to look weird?” Rodney asked as he stopped to circle a problem passage. “How can threes look weird?”

“I don’t know,” John replied. “They just do. So, I think I should stop now.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I should stop too before I decide I completely hate this piece and never want to play it ever again. And the kids have been really quiet for the past half hour – which could either be really good or really bad.”

John stuffed his papers back in his bag before standing and stretching. He self-consciously pulled his shirt back down as he caught Rodney blinking owlishly at him from behind the piano. He shouldered his bag before they went downstairs to collect their kids – both of whom had fallen asleep playing a kids’ version of Monopoly. The men quickly cleaned it up without waking the kids.

John carefully picked up Lizzie and said, “Come over whenever tomorrow morning. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Rodney nodded as he roused Jericho just enough to get him on his feet. “Will do.”

The next morning, Rodney and Jericho entered the Sheppards’ house at eight am.

“Never underestimate the lure of watching Saturday morning cartoons at your best friend’s house,” Rodney replied with a sigh as Jericho joined Lizzie in the living room and John handed Rodney a large mug of steaming coffee. He took a sip and sighed in delight. “How do you get this to taste so good when I know for a fact we use the same kind of coffee?”

“It’s a state secret,” John replied with an amused smile. “So what time did he wake you up?”

“Six am. I had to convince him to go back to sleep for a while and that Lizzie really wasn’t going to be up that early.”

“Thankfully, Lizzie slept until seven,” John commiserated. “Then I let her get up and made her get dressed before coming down. Thankfully, her wardrobe’s fairly fool-proof, “so I could get a shower while she took care of herself. Did you want waffles or pancakes?”

“You’re making both?” Rodney asked wide-eyed.

John shrugged. “It’s the same batter and I couldn’t decide what *I* wanted, so…”

“Pancakes,” Rodney replied.

“Oh, your key’s on the table – along with our info.”

Rodney pocketed the key and looked over the sheet of paper. As he folded it up, he looked at the other items on the table and said, “Do you do this every Saturday morning?”

“Not really, no,” John replied with a smile as he poured some batter onto the waiting pan. “But the fruit’s gotta get used before it goes bad and Lizzie somehow remembered we had leftover chocolate chips from when we had to make cookies for school, so…. And I figured we might as well use the bacon too.”

“I’m still amazed that you decided to make them from scratch instead of getting the pre-made dough.”

“Making chocolate chip cookies from scratch is, like, one of the staples of childhood, Rodney. Besides, how else are you going to learn how great it is to get to lick the beaters?”

Rodney laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to figure you out, John Sheppard.”

“Where would the fun be if you did?” John replied, his eyes crinkling in amusement, before he expertly flipped the pancakes over. “Would you like some eggs too?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied. “Scrambled.”

John easily cracked some eggs into another pan and scrambled them for Rodney before dishing everything out onto a plate for him. “Take what you want of the fruit and syrup and all,” he said, motioning with the spatula before pouring some more batter into the pan to make more pancakes.

Rodney fixed his pancakes and ducked his head into the living room to check on the kids before sitting down to eat. He moaned softly as he ate his first bite of pancakes and John laughed at his expression.

“I didn’t think they were *that* good,” John remarked.

“You have no idea,” Rodney replied happily. “Can I keep you? In fact, can we do this every Saturday?”

“I know Lizzie wouldn’t have any problem with that,” John replied as he started making more eggs. “I’ll considerate if you’ll do Sunday dinner.”

“What’s so special about my Sunday dinner?” Rodney asked skeptically.

“I don’t know yet,” John replied. “But it only seems fair.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll see what I can do,” Rodney conceded before digging in.

John called the kids to the table and served them breakfast. “Sign-ups are coming for pee-wee hockey,” John told Rodney.

“I don’t know,” Rodney said carefully.

“Isn’t hockey the national sport of Canada?” John teased him as he began making his own breakfast.

“Maybe so, but don’t you think it’s kind of dangerous for kids his age?”

“I doubt they’ll be going fast enough to do any real damage to themselves or anyone else. Besides, that’s what all the padding is for.”

“What do you think?” Rodney asked Jericho.

“Can I?” Jericho asked with a grin.

“All right,” Rodney replied. “But you’ve got to stick with it, okay? I don’t want to hear you complaining that you don’t want to do it after two lessons, okay?”

Jericho nodded as Lizzie said, “Can I do it too, Daddy?”

John shrugged as he dished out his own food. “Sure, I don’t see why not. But you’re still going to be doing piano lessons with Mr. Rodney.”

“*Duh*,” she replied with a blatant eye-roll. “I still want to play piano too.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do.” As he sat down, John said, “Remember – we have Tiffany’s birthday party this afternoon.”

Both of the kids grinned and Jericho said, “And we’re going bowling.”

“I hope Rita realizes how *insane* it’s going to be with all the kids running around the bowling alley hopped up on soda and birthday cake,” Rodney said with a small shudder.

“It’ll be fine, Rodney. All the parents will be there, so don’t worry about it.”

The doorbell rang and John and Rodney looked at each other confused. John moved to get up, but Rodney waved him down. “You just sat down to eat, I’ll get it.”

He disappeared to the front of the house and a moment later the door opened. John strained to hear what was being said. It did sound like a woman had come to the door and was looking for him, but Rodney’s appearance had thrown her. Both Lizzie and Jericho had gone quiet and intently watched John as they ate. He shrugged before getting up and joining Rodney.

“Nancy?” he asked incredulously when he saw the woman at the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I, um, I –.” She looked between Rodney and John uncertainly. “I can come back later if now’s not a good time.”

“No, now’s okay,” John replied, sneaking a glance at Rodney – who nodded imperceptibly. “We were just eating breakfast. Would you like something?”

“Coffee, if you have it?” she asked, pushing past them and into the house.

John shut the door as she took off her coat and threw it over the banister and set her purse on a step, and Rodney hissed in his ear, “What’s going on?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” John whispered back. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I hadn’t heard from her since she left.” Before she could go into the kitchen, John grabbed Nancy’s arm and pulled her into the living room, thankful that the kids hadn’t seen her yet. “What’s going on, Nancy?” he hissed.

“I want to come back, Johnny,” she told him, a note of desperation in her voice.

“Why now?” he asked as he folded his arms across his chest. “It’s been *six* *years*, Nancy.”

“It’s just….” She wrung her hands and took a few steps away from him before turning back to face him. “I realized how foolish I was to leave you, and I wanted to see if maybe…” She looked past John to Rodney, who hovered uncertainly in the doorway before quickly going back into the kitchen. “I wanted to see if we could maybe start over.”

“I don’t know,” John told her. “Things are a lot different now. I’m not the same person I was then. And I’ve got Elizabeth to think about.”

Nancy’s eyes lit up. “You kept her? How is she? Can I see her?”

“Yes, I kept her,” John bit out. “She’s *my* child as much as yours. Maybe more, since *I* didn’t leave.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” she told him.

“Yes, you did,” he countered. “If you were going through something, you should’ve told me. I would’ve helped you. I loved you.”

“And what about now?” she asked softly as she took a step towards him. “Do you still love me?”

“I don’t know,” he told her. “It’s hard to love someone who broke your heart and willingly left your child without her mother.”

“I really am sorry about that, Johnny,” she said. “I did what I thought I had to do. If I had thought there was another way that would’ve kept us together, I would’ve taken it.”

John opened his mouth, and then quickly closed it. “Okay,” he finally said. “But,” he held up a finger, “I’m only doing this for Elizabeth.”

“Thank you, Johnny,” she said gratefully. “Can I meet her now?”

John sighed and led her back into the kitchen. The kids looked up expectantly when they entered.

“Lizzie,” John said to her, “this is your mother.”

Lizzie looked between John and Nancy, confused for a moment before grinning as realization dawned. Her fork clattered onto her plate as she scrambled out of her seat and launched herself at Nancy.

“Mommy!” she exclaimed as she latched tightly onto Nancy. “You’re back! You’re finally back!”

Nancy carefully patted the top of Lizzie’s head. “Yes, I am.” She carefully extracted herself from Lizzie’s grip and crouched down to look at her. “You’re as beautiful as I thought you’d be. You look like a princess.”

Lizzie beamed at her. “I’m glad you’re back, Mommy.”

“I am too,” Nancy told her as she gave her a tiny smile. “You’d better finish your breakfast.”

Lizzie pulled Nancy to John’s seat before sitting back down and John set a cup of coffee in front of Nancy before taking his breakfast and moving to the counter. John watched them carefully as Nancy drank her coffee and Lizzie finished her breakfast. Nancy carefully asked Lizzie questions about school, her friends, activities, but carefully evaded any questions that Lizzie asked her about where she had been for the past six years. When Lizzie told Nancy that Rodney was giving her piano lessons, Nancy questioningly glanced from Rodney to John, but didn’t comment and John simply shrugged.

When John refilled his own mug, Rodney silently held out his own and John refilled his as well. And when Jericho asked him for another pancake, John made him another one without consulting Rodney, who was helping Lizzie cut up the rest of her pancakes.

And he couldn’t help but notice that Nancy didn’t relax once during the conversation – she continued to sit with her back ramrod straight and one leg crossed over the other, her hands folded in her lap when she wasn’t carefully drinking her coffee. This was definitely a different Nancy than he remembered.

The moment the kids finished eating, John and Rodney excused them from the table and they took off to watch more cartoons. John began cleaning up the debris from breakfast, thankful he had something to do so he wouldn’t have to completely confront Nancy. As he did so, he heard Rodney and Nancy start talking.

“How did the two of you meet?” Nancy asked Rodney.

“We met at a Parents Without Partners meeting a couple of months ago,” Rodney told her. “Jericho and I had just moved into the neighborhood and I had to get out of the house that night. Since my wife had died not long before that, I figured it would be a good way to get support and advice.”

“And how long have the two of you and the kids been living together?” she asked blandly.

John dropped the pan he had been washing and he heard Rodney sputter and start coughing. “Excuse me?” Rodney asked indignantly.

Wanting to cut Rodney off before he got started, John left the sink and went to clear the kids’ plates off the table. “We’re *not* living together, Nancy,” John told her curtly. “Rodney and Jericho came over so the four of us could have breakfast before we go to a birthday party for one of the kids in the PWP group.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied. “It just looked that way, considering how early it is and the fact that you are playing a rather domestic scene. He is bi, you know,” she told Rodney.

“No, I’m not, Nancy,” John replied shortly. To Rodney, he said, “We were both pretty drunk at the time and she asked if I wanted to do a threesome with a guy. And I told her that I’d consider it – *IF*, and it was a pretty big if, Greg Shermeyer was the other guy. He was the type of guy straight guys would go for. He said no, so we never did it.”

“Go ahead and spoil all my fun, Johnny,” Nancy pouted. “You know, I think I’ll go see what the kids are watching.”

Once she left the kitchen, Rodney said, “Wow. If that’s the two of you playing nice, I’m actually surprised the two of you didn’t kill each other.”

“The make-up sex was always great – which helped,” John replied, suddenly drained.

“Do you want Jericho and me to leave?” Rodney asked as he joined John at the sink with his own dishes.

John went back to washing the dishes. “No. You two have as much right to be here as she does – maybe more. I don’t know. I think we should go ahead with our plans and see what happens.”

“Okay.” Rodney nodded. “If you need anything, just say the word.”

John gave him a wan smile. “Thanks.”

Once they’d finished cleaning up breakfast, they worked on coordinating their schedules for the coming week.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen now that Nancy’s here, though,” John told Rodney. “I’ll still pick up Jericho at the bus stop and all that. I don’t know about dinner, though.”

“Jericho and I will manage. I’m sure I’ll be answering a lot of tough questions this week about Katie. It’s going to be hard for him – seeing Nancy come back and wondering why Katie hasn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Rodney told him with a sigh. “You obviously didn’t know this was going to happen. It’s been quiet in there for a while. Think we should go check?”

“Yeah, might be a good idea,” John replied.

They found their kids and Nancy in the living room watching TV. Jericho was laying on the floor with a pillow and Lizzie was cuddled up to Nancy’s side on the couch.

“We have a birthday party to go to today,” John told Nancy as he leaned against the archway. “You’re welcome to come with us if you’d like.”

“Wouldn’t that be violating the ‘without partners’ part of your group?” she asked him nonchalantly.

“Maybe,” John replied with a shrug. “But I’m not going to not take Elizabeth because of a sudden technicality.”

“Don’t start with me, Johnny,” she replied sharply.

John raised his hands placatingly. “I’m not trying to start anything, Nancy. The party’s at eleven, so we’re going to leave in about half an hour. You have until then to decide.”

“Please come, Mommy,” Lizzie said, looking up at her. “We’re going bowling and it’s going to be lots of fun.”

“Okay, baby,” Nancy told her. “I’ll go.”

“I’m not a baby, Mommy,” Lizzie giggled. “I’m six. I’m a big girl.”

“Yes, you are,” Nancy replied with a smile.

They all quietly watched the cartoon for a few minutes before Rodney tapped John on the arm. “Hey, I have to go get our present for Tiffany. Why don’t you guys meet me over in our place in a few minutes? My car will be more comfortable than your Jeep.”

“Okay,” John replied easily. He turned back to the living room as Rodney left to find Nancy watching them with a raised eyebrow. He raised an eyebrow in return and she just shook her head. “All right, we’ve got to get going,” he announced. “Turn off the TV and use the bathroom if you need to go. Lizzie – go get your shoes and Tiffany’s present.”

Lizzie turned off the TV as she got up. She dumped the remote onto the coffee table before heading into the kitchen. Jericho also got up and put the pillow he’d been laying on back on the couch before heading to the bathroom. When he came out, he tried to tie one of his shoes without much success.

“Mr. John?” he asked as he stood and, balancing on one foot, held out the other one.

“You almost had it, buddy,” John told him as he knelt down. He braced Jericho’s foot against his thigh and said, “You just do it like this,” and showed him how to tie his shoe. “How are you doing, Lizzie?” he called into the kitchen as he stood.

“Good,” came the reply as she reappeared with both shoes on and the Velcro straps buckled, and a package in her hands.

“Good going, kiddo,” John told her as he headed for the hall closet. “Okay – jackets, everyone.”

Jericho took his off the newel post and after two tries, zipped it up. Meanwhile, John took the present from Lizzie in exchange for her jacket, which she obediently put on and zipped up. Once John handed the present back to her, he put on his own coat. When he looked up from zipping it up, Nancy was watching him with an amused look on her face, her coat on and her purse slung over her shoulder.

“Do we have everything?” John asked as he grabbed his keys.

“Yes,” both Lizzie and Jericho answered.

John gave them both a look and they nodded seriously. “Do you need to use the bathroom, Lizzie?”

“No,” she replied.

“Okay, let’s go. We’re taking Rodney’s car.”

John locked up behind them as the kids led the way down the driveway and then down the sidewalk to the McKays’ house. At the corner, they stopped and looked both ways before crossing to where Rodney was waiting by his car. At Lizzie’s insistence, Nancy sat in the back with the kids on the way to the bowling alley.

Once there, John and Rodney had a hard time corralling the kids while they sorted out games and shoes for the four of them. When John tried to include Nancy in it, she politely demurred. Both Rodney and John let out a sigh of relief once everything had been situated and they had joined the rest of the party. John introduced Nancy to the rest of the parents and he noticed that she received the reception he had figured she would – the other parents were cordial, if a little cool, towards her, and a couple gave him questioning glances, as if to ask what he thought. He simply shrugged – he didn’t know what he thought about any of it.

As Rodney had predicted – the kids were quickly loaded with soda and pizza and even bowling wasn’t wearing them out quickly enough to counteract the sugar and excitement. When it was time for cake, John started planning the most efficient ways for Lizzie and Jericho to burn off the sugar and caffeine before dinner.

John had to admit, though, that it was one of the more enjoyable kid birthday parties he’d been to in a while, and he was even able to forget the whole situation with Nancy for a while, since she seemed to hit it off with one of the other moms and spent a fair amount of time talking in between cheering on Lizzie.

“How are you doing?” Laura asked as she sat down next to John.

John shrugged. “Okay, I guess. Nancy arrived unannounced this morning while we were eating breakfast. And I don’t think it helped that Rodney and Jericho were with us. Though, it might have been even weirder if they hadn’t been there.”

“Bad breakup?” she asked sympathetically.

“No breakup,” he replied. “She left when Lizzie was only a few days old.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. And we haven’t heard anything from her until now. I want Lizzie to have her mom, but Nancy and I never had a smooth relationship and I doubt six years is going to change that. And Nancy tends to be an all or nothing sort of person – or she at least used to.”

“Good luck with that. Just remember that we’re here for you if you need us.”

John gave her a small smile. “Thanks.”

“I do have something else I need to discuss with you,” she told him, a smile teasing at the corners of her mouth. “As you know, from time to time parents do find a partner through the course of coming to our group. I know we haven’t had a chance to tell you this, but the group supports you and Rodney one hundred percent and we think it’s great that you’ve found each other. Now, we’re not kicking you out per se, but….”

John stared at Laura for a long moment before he broke out in laughter. “You think Rodney and I –” he gasped before laughing some more and shaking his head. Once he finally pulled himself together he said, “Rodney and I aren’t together.”

“You’re not?” Laura asked, her brow furrowing.

“Nope, not at all,” John told her, still amused. “Though, don’t feel bad – Nancy thought we were together too.”

“Wow,” Laura replied, sitting back in her chair. “You could’ve fooled us. The rest of us were placing bets on when the two of you were going to make the announcement.”

“If you care to share the winnings with us, I’m sure Rodney and I would be willing to help you win,” John told her.

“What’s so funny?” Rodney asked as he and Nancy came over.

John shook his head. “I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you, Rodney. I’m just having a surreal moment.”

“Well, then when you’re done, would you mind helping me explain our little arrangement to your ex-girlfriend?”

John finished swallowing a sip of soda. “Which one?” he asked as Laura discreetly extracted herself from them. “The one where we trade our kids or the one where we have hot, passionate sex as much as possible?”

Nancy glared at John as Rodney gave him a confused look. “Oooh-kay,” Rodney told him. “I’m beginning to think the kids aren’t the only ones who need to have their sugar cut off.”

“It’s all innocent, I swear,” John told Nancy. “Rodney’s a concert pianist and he’s been giving Elizabeth lessons. In exchange, I’ve been helping Jericho out in the athletic department since Rodney isn’t as athletically-inclined as he’d like to be. I swear it’s perfectly kosher, Nancy, and Rodney and I still spend a lot of time with our own kids.”

“I simply expressed concern for what the kids might be learning from the two of you about gender roles and expression,” Nancy replied tartly.

“Well, from where I’m sitting, they seem to be doing just fine,” John told her and gestured over to the kids. Lizzie was sitting with the other girls and giggling over something, while Jericho was with the other boys running around between the seats. “And I think we’ve been doing just fine as parents.” He stood. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s my turn to bowl.”

 

When they got home, Rodney took Lizzie to play with Jericho as originally planned. John and Nancy slowly walked back to his place in silence. He helped her get her bags out of the car and into the house. They took them upstairs and put them in the spare bedroom.

“You can stay in here,” John told her. “The sheets are clean.”

“Seriously, John?” she replied, startled. “You’re putting me in the guest room? What will Elizabeth think?”

“Yes, I’m putting you in the guestroom, Nancy,” John firmly answered as he leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “And I’m doing it because even though you’re Elizabeth’s mother, you and I haven’t been close over the past few years. In fact, I haven’t heard from you since you left. Besides, I don’t think she’s really going to think about it. I think she’s going to be too excited that her mother is here to worry about the specifics of where you’re sleeping. Why *are* you here, Nancy?”

Nancy sank down onto the bed with a sigh. “I was laid off from my job, my fiancé dumped me, and my family still isn’t speaking to me for my decision to move in with you.”

“What about your girlfriends? Why couldn’t they help you out?” John asked, confused.

Nancy shook her head. “They’ve all got their own lives and we’re not very close. We were all friendly, but it was more because our boyfriends and husbands were friends. And I always knew I could count you.”

“How did you know I’d still be here?” John asked. “I could have moved, married, or who knows what.”

“I called around,” Nancy told him. “I wasn’t going to intrude if you did have someone else, but I’ll admit that I felt relieved when they said you were still single.” She studied him for a moment. “There is someone else, isn’t there?”

John shook his head. “Nope – just Elizabeth. But you have to understand, Nancy – it’s not just about me any more. I have Elizabeth to consider. I don’t want to subject her to what we had.”

“It’s been six years, Johnny, and you said yourself that we’re not the same people we were then. Why aren’t you willing to give it a shot?”

“Because while I know I’ll be able to survive having my heart broken by you again, I don’t want Elizabeth to have to go through it.”

“But you don’t know that it’s going to work that way,” she pushed. “We could actually make it work this time.”

“You don’t know either,” John sighed. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go start dinner.”

Dinner was a quiet affair. Lizzie ate all of her food with a minimum of complaint and only lightly peppered Nancy with questions about where she had been. Nancy answered the questions evasively and admitted only that she had needed to take care of a few things so she could be with them forever. John remained quiet through the meal, not wanting to allow his bitterness and hurt to ruin things for Lizzie.

After dinner, Lizzie dragged Nancy up to her room to show her her things while John cleaned up. While Nancy and Lizzie played upstairs, John worked on some of his papers before going up to start getting Lizzie ready for bed.

“No, I want Mommy to help me,” Lizzie told him.

“All right,” John replied, glancing quickly at Nancy, who looked uncertain. “But she’s never done it before, so you’ll have to show her what to do, okay?”

Lizzie nodded vigorously. “I can do that.”

“Okay. I’ll be up in a bit to give you a kiss goodnight, then.”

John went back downstairs and did some more work, but the whole time he was distracted. It felt weird for him to not be helping Lizzie with her bath and making sure she brushed her teeth before tucking her into bed and reading her a few stories. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He really didn’t think he could do this again with Nancy. In retrospect, their relationship had been more negative than positive, regardless of how good the sex was, and he didn’t want to go through that again. And he really didn’t want to put Lizzie through it either. He was more than willing to give Nancy a fair shot for Lizzie’s sake, but he wasn’t planning on holding his breath. If things didn’t work, then they’d have to figure out an alternative way for them to work.

“She’s ready,” Nancy said as she came into the kitchen.

John nodded and went upstairs. “How did it go, kiddo?” he asked as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

“Good,” Lizzie beamed. “She read me two stories tonight. I’m glad she’s back, Daddy.”

“So am I,” John replied. He leaned forward and kissed Lizzie on the forehead. “Now get some sleep, okay?”

Lizzie scooted down and John stood up before he pulled the covers up over her shoulder and smoothed them down. He turned on her nightlight before kissing her again and leaving her room.

“Good night, Lizzie,” he told her. “I love you.”

“Good night, Daddy. Love you too,” Lizzie replied as he shut off the light on his way out and pulled her door most of the way shut.

John rejoined Nancy in the kitchen and began cleaning up his papers and stuffing them into his messenger bag.

“She’s a sweet kid,” Nancy told him. “You’ve done a really good job with her – better than I would have.”

“Yeah, well, it hasn’t been all hearts and flowers – believe me,” John said as he took two beers out of the refrigerator and sat down across from Nancy, and slid one over to her. He sighed and wiped a hand over his face. “I don’t think this is going to work, Nancy. At least not romantically for me. I would love for you to be in Elizabeth’s life and be her mother, but I’m not –.” He stopped and shook his head.

“I understand,” she replied. “I’m sure it’s quite a shock – me showing up unannounced like this. But couldn’t you at least try? For old times’ sake?”

“See – looking back, I’m not sure how much I actually liked the old times. As I recall, we fought a lot.” John leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“We were kids then, Johnny,” she said. “We were young and foolish. Now that we’re older, I’m sure things will go more smoothly.”

“Or we’ll just find more ways to be vicious to each other.”

“Have the past six years been that bad? You never used to be this cynical and bitter.”

John let out a snort. “The past few years have been pretty great, actually. And maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t, but I’ve had to grow up differently than you since you left. But I have Elizabeth to think about now and I don’t think you’d understand the lengths to which a parent would go to protect their child.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t know.” Nancy leaned forward and laced her hands together on the table. “But I’m asking to be given that chance, Johnny.”

“What happened, Nancy? Why did you leave?”

She shrugged as she studied her beer bottle. “The doctors called it ‘postpartum depression’. And I was afraid and overwhelmed. I felt trapped.”

“If you had told me that, I would have helped you,” John told her softly. “You know I would have done anything for you.”

“I know. But after I got help, I felt so guilty and I was convinced that you wouldn’t have anything to do with me, so I stayed away. There were so many times when I picked up the phone to call you – to beg your forgiveness, to ask about Elizabeth, to see if you’d let me come back – and every time I chickened out.”

“And now that you’ve hit rock bottom, you see it as a good time for us to just pick up where we left off?” John asked harshly.

“I want to make amends, Johnny,” she pleaded.

“Please stop calling me ‘Johnny’ – we’re not in our twenties anymore. You know how much I’ve always hated that name.” He leaned forward and mirrored her pose. “Here are my terms. You can stay here until you find somewhere else to live and we’ll share custody of Elizabeth. And you and I are officially over.”

Nancy looked at him crestfallen as she put a hand over her heart and leaned back in her chair. “You wound me, John.”

“Yeah, well. You wounded me a long time ago,” John replied as he took a swig of his beer. “I think that this will be the best for all of us. We can figure out schedules and all that later.” He stood and poured out the rest of his beer. “I’m tired and I’m going to bed.”

“John –” Nancy called after him, but he didn’t respond as he headed upstairs.

John took a perfunctory shower and brushed his teeth without thinking. He looked in on Lizzie and found her sleeping soundly.

He threw himself across his bed with a sigh. He stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts buzzing around his head erratically. With another sigh, he grabbed his cell phone and called Rodney.

“Do you need help hiding a body?” Rodney asked as his way of answering.

John laughed, feeling some of the tension easing inside. “Not yet, but is that your way of saying you’re willing to help me if I do?”

“Maybe,” Rodney replied. “Though you’d know the better places to hide them anyway.”

“I’m sure I could always use an extra pair of hands, though. And you’d definitely make it more entertaining.” After a short pause, he said, “I don’t know what to do, Rodney. Nancy wants us to be a happy little family, but I don’t think I can do that. I told her she had to find a place of her own and that we’d share custody of Lizzie. Do you think I made the right decision?”

John smiled as he heard a slight shuffle and the soft rustle of cloth and could tell that Rodney was in the kitchen and was now leaning with one shoulder against the archway, the phone cradled between his cheek and his shoulder and he had his arms crossed over his chest. “Does it matter what I think?” Rodney gently asked him. “You, Lizzie, and Nancy are the ones who are going to have to live with this decision. Do you think you can?”

“I think so,” John admitted. “I’m more worried about Nancy and Lizzie. I’m afraid Nancy will realize that this is a lot of work and decide it’s not worth it and leave again and that Lizzie will be crushed. She’s waited for so long for *something* from Nancy, and I don’t want her heart to be broken.”

“Kids are pretty resilient people, John – look at Jericho. I know it’s only natural for us to want to protect our children from everything that could hurt them, but we also have to teach them how to deal with hurt and pain – especially from other people. And you won’t know how it’s going to turn out until it happens. The day you’re waiting for may happen tomorrow, or it could be in a few days, or a few weeks, or months, or years, or it may never happen because Nancy really means what she says.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wish I knew what I could do to make sure Lizzie’s prepared either way.”

“Just be her daddy. She loves and adores you and trusts you. That will help you in the long run.” Rodney sighed. “How do you want to deal with things now? Because no matter how we look at it, things are definitely going to be different from now on with Nancy around. I’ll still give Lizzie piano lessons, of course. And I’d really appreciate it if you’d still help Jericho out as much as you can. Maybe you could come over here while Lizzie and I have her lesson? I think it’s done him a lot of good and I wish I could be that kind of dad, but I flunked at it as a child and I, sadly, haven’t gotten any better over the years.”

John chuckled. “At least you tried, Rodney, and Jericho knows that. And, believe me, he still thinks you’re pretty damn cool. And I’ve enjoyed playing with him and teaching him the things my dad taught me that Lizzie doesn’t have any interest in.”

Rodney snorted. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?” he asked with a laugh. “We’re probably the most mismatched heterosexual life partners in the history of, well, ever.”

John laughed outright. “I knew it was a bad idea to show you any of the Jay and Silent Bob movies.”

“Oh, come on – they were fun. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, a little. I still don’t know what I’m going to do, though.”

“You’ll figure it out. I have faith that that big brain of yours is able to compute more than just theoretical mathematical equations and that you’ll be able to figure it out. So, we’ll see you guys tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we’ll be over at some point.”

“Okay, just come over whenever – we’ll be here all day. I have a few lessons in the afternoon, but you know the drill.”

“I do,” John replied with a smile. “Good night, Rodney. And thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Good night, John.”

John flipped his phone shut and tossed it onto the nightstand as he crawled under the covers. He did feel better after talking to Rodney, as if things were a little more under his control. That was why he loved numbers and equations – they were set and specific and he didn’t have to worry about a messy break-up with them. People, on the other hand…. John had carefully kept everyone but Lizzie at arm’s length since Nancy had left – to protect himself, and by extension Lizzie. But now that Nancy was back, he felt like everyone was rushing in.

Nancy still had a weird, enthralling power over him that while he was saying ‘no’ to her and pushing her away, part of him did want to say ‘yes’ and see if they could recapture what they had, regardless of the consequences. And somewhere along the way, Rodney and Jericho had wormed their way not only into his life, but also into his heart as well and he didn’t want to let them go, even though it felt like he’d have to in order for Nancy to be a part of their life.

He rolled over with a groan and pulled the other pillow close. He didn’t like how this was starting to feel like a zero-sum equation in Nancy’s favor.

 

When John woke the next morning, he smelled breakfast cooking and glanced at his bedside clock in alarm. It read 7:30am as usual. John’s brain sluggishly struggled to process how breakfast could be cooking on Sunday, since Rodney wasn’t supposed to be over and Lizzie knew better than to cook breakfast herself.

John quickly pulled himself out of bed and threw on a pair of sweats before checking in Lizzie’s room. As he suspected, her bed was empty. John headed downstairs and straight to the kitchen. Nancy and Lizzie were in the kitchen making breakfast.

“What’s going on?” he asked in surprise.

“We’re making you breakfast, Daddy,” Lizzie told him excitedly with a grin.

“I can see that,” he told her with a questioning look at Nancy.

“I thought we could surprise you,” Nancy told him as she tried to suppress a smile. “I can see your hair hasn’t changed a bit in six years.”

John self-consciously ran a hand through his unruly thatch of hair and Lizzie giggled at him.

“We’re almost ready if you want to sit,” Nancy said as she slid an omelet onto a plate.

John poured himself a cup of coffee and did so. A moment later, she set the plate in front of him with the omelet and some hash browns. John started eating as Nancy dished out some scrambled eggs and hash browns onto another plate and handed it to Lizzie before she began making a second omelet. “You haven’t lost your touch,” he told her.

“Thank you,” she replied with a small smile. “Steve was never a fan of omelets, so I didn’t make them much unless he was out of town.” She turned thoughtful. “Which was probably more than I realized.”

“Your mom and I did this every Sunday before you were born,” John told Lizzie.

Lizzie grinned and said, “And now we can do it again. Saturday will be breakfast and cartoons with Mr. Rodney and Jericho, and Sunday will be our breakfast.”

“About that –” Nancy started, her tone concerned.

“We’ll talk about it later,” John replied, cutting her off.

Nancy pursed her lips before saying, “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Lizzie and Jericho have a standing playdate for this afternoon at the McKays’,” John told her. “And I usually go over and watch them while Rodney teaches a few piano lessons. You’re welcome to come with us or you can start looking into what we discussed last night.”

“I think I’ll do the latter,” Nancy replied sourly as she glared at John.

“Is everything okay, Daddy?” Lizzie asked as she glanced between the two of them.

“Everything’s fine, kiddo,” John told her with a smile. “Mommy just has to run some errands today while you’re playing with Jericho.”

“Can we play with my Barbies when we get back, Mommy?” Lizzie asked her.

“Certainly, sweetie,” Nancy said as she sat down with her own breakfast. “We can even play for a while before you go play with Jericho. How does that sound?”

“Great.” Lizzie grinned before turning her attention back to her breakfast.

After breakfast, John cleaned up as Nancy let Lizzie drag her away to play for a while. The rest of the morning was a bit surreal because while John was used to Lizzie playing quietly and running up to him from time to time with a question or a problem, he wasn’t used to her also telling him things that “Mommy” said or did. He was glad that they were bonding, but it was something he had never expected would actually happen.

Going to Rodney’s house felt like an oasis of normality, and John had to wonder why he felt more comfortable spending time with a socially awkward pianist instead of his ex-girlfriend – with whom he had a history and a child.

“How’s it going with Nancy?” Rodney asked John as they waited for his first lesson to show up.

“It’s only been about 36 hours, Rodney,” John told him. “But so far it’s been good and Nancy and I haven’t tried killing each other yet. The whole thing’s pretty surreal, actually.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Rodney replied as the doorbell rang and he went to answer it. “You know the drill.”

John nodded and gathered the kids and the three of them headed down into the basement to play some games. When three hours had passed, John made the kids clean up and they headed upstairs.

“Hi, Jenna. Hi, Mickey,” he said as Rodney’s last lesson and his mother passed by on their way out. He nudged the kids and they chorused ‘hi’.

“Hello, John,” Jenna replied coolly as they kept walking.

“What’s wrong with her?” Jericho asked.

“I don’t know,” John replied, trying not to laugh – or explain about snobs.

“So what do you want to do for dinner?” Rodney asked from where he had his head stuck in the refrigerator.

“Lizzie and I have to get home, actually,” John told him.

“Oh, right, yes,” Rodney replied as he stood up. “Hey, I was thinking – this week is your Thanksgiving. I know things have changed with Nancy being here, but did you want to do something for it? I want Jericho to have all those kinds of experiences. And what about Teyla and Ronon? Should we invite them too?”

“They’ll be out of town for it.” John shrugged. “Sure, I guess we could do it. I’ll have to talk to Nancy about it and let you know.”

Rodney nodded as there was a knock on the door. Both men looked at each other questioningly and John opened the door.

A fuming Nancy was on the other side of the door, her arms crossed over her chest. “So, when were you planning on coming home?” she asked curtly.

“Right now,” John replied as he gathered up Lizzie and her coat. As they stepped outside, he told Rodney, “I’ll let you know, Rodney.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later,” Rodney told him before shutting the door behind them.

“Let him know about what?” Nancy asked as they headed home.

“Rodney wanted to know what we were doing for Thanksgiving, and I told him I wasn’t sure,” John replied.

“I was thinking the three of us could go away for the holiday – give us some time to bond as a family.”

“Why don’t we let Elizabeth choose?” John asked, feeling that he wasn’t going to win either way he decided.

“I want to stay here,” Lizzie replied, “and have Thanksgiving with Mommy and Daddy and Mr. Rodney and Jericho. And Daddy and Mr. Rodney and Jericho can watch football and Mommy and I can play with my dolls. And we’ll eat lots of food and take a nap and have a great Thanksgiving.”

“And where would she have gotten that kind of an idea?” Nancy asked John.

John shrugged as they went inside. “I’ve told her some stories about what Thanksgiving was like when I was growing up. And the kids at school talk. I’m sure she just inferred that we’d do the same now that we have more people.”

“Okay, fine. We’ll have Thanksgiving dinner here,” Nancy replied tartly. “But Rodney better be willing to help, because I am *not* doing it all by myself.”

“Calm down, Nancy,” John told her. “Lizzie – why don’t you go up to your room and play until dinner’s ready?” Once she had stripped off her coat and ran upstairs, John continued, “I had no intention of having you do it all by yourself. I never even said you had to do anything to begin with. And if you stopped being such a martyr, you’d remember I had offered – a lot of times – to help that one time you wanted to make your grandmother’s Thanksgiving dinner yourself, but you wouldn’t let me.”

“You weren’t perfect either, you know,” Nancy retorted, turning on him as she shed her own coat and threw it over the banister.

“I never said I was, but that’s besides the point here.” John hung his and Lizzie’s coats in the closet, and then hung up Nancy’s as well. He closed the distance to Nancy and cupped her elbows with his hands. “You don’t need to be defensive all the time, Nancy. It’s not a flattering attitude on you.”

The tension slowly went out of Nancy’s body. “I shouldn’t have come back, John. You obviously don’t want me here. My presence is a novelty for Elizabeth. I’m not cut out for this whole family thing.”

“You’re just overwhelmed, Nancy,” John told her softly. “You weren’t expecting me to be raising Elizabeth. And you thought I’d be pining for you, didn’t you?” He gently rubbed her arms. “It’s going to take some time to adjust – for all of us. We’ll get through this and everything will work out. And the one of the first hurdles will be getting through Thanksgiving.” He reached down and grabbed one of her hands. “Come on, help me start dinner and we’ll figure out what we’ll need for Thanksgiving dinner.”

 

“Elizabeth wants to say good night to you,” Nancy said as she came downstairs later that night.

John nodded and headed upstairs. “Hey, kiddo,” he said as he entered her room. “Are you having fun with Mommy?”

Lizzie nodded, but bit her lip. “Yes, but she doesn’t know how to play right.”

“Give her time,” John said as he smoothed out her blankets and sat down on the bed. “Remember how it took you a while to learn Monopoly? The same thing applies to your mommy. She needs more than two days to learn.”

“And she always calls me Elizabeth.” Lizzie scrunched up her face in disgust. “I’m a Lizzie!”

John chuckled. “Yes, you are. Have you told her that? Just because she’s your mom, doesn’t mean she automatically knows that you like to be called Lizzie. And just so you know, she’s frustrated too because she wants to be the best mommy she can, but she feels overwhelmed because she doesn’t know you or me like we know each other. Do you think you can do your best to help her learn?”

Lizzie smiled and nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl,” John told her as he kissed her on the forehead. “Now go to sleep.”

“Good night, Daddy.”

“Good night, kiddo.”

 

“I can’t do this, John,” Nancy said in exasperation. “There’s no way this turkey’s going to be done in time.”

“It’ll be fine,” John told her as he abandoned the potatoes he had been peeling to look at the bird. He checked the thermometer in the bird and turned up the oven a bit. “Why don’t you work on the potatoes for a while?”

Nancy complied with a sigh as Lizzie jumped out of her chair and said, “Done, Daddy!” and showed John a page in her coloring book.

“That’s beautiful, Lizzie,” he told her with a grin and kissed the top of her head. “Why don’t you show it to your mom?” The doorbell rang a second before it opened and John said, “Lizzie, why don’t you go play with Jericho while we finish getting dinner ready? You two can watch a movie if you’d like.”

Lizzie ran off with a grin, leaving her coloring book on the counter next to Nancy. Her excited voice floated back to them for a moment before she and Jericho headed into the living room.

As Rodney came back to the kitchen, he said, “So I decided box stuffing and store bought pies would be sacrilegious with all the work you two were putting into this meal, so I found some recipes online and made my own.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Rodney,” John told him as he took the top pie off of the stack of items Rodney was carrying and set it on the table.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Rodney replied as he set down the rest of the items and took off his coat. “Hi, Nancy.”

“Hello, Rodney,” she replied coolly, not looking up from the potato she was peeling.

“What can I do to help?” Rodney asked.

“Nothing at the moment,” John replied as he checked the turkey again. “I think we’ve got everything under control.”

“You can finish this,” Nancy told Rodney in frustration. “I’m going to go check on the kids.”

“What’s her problem?” Rodney asked quietly after Nancy was out of earshot.

“I think she’s having a tough time adjusting to being a parent,” John replied as he started cutting up the potatoes while Rodney finished peeling the few that were left. “She’s trying hard with Lizzie, but they’re both frustrated that things aren’t going the way they’d thought it would, so they’re butting heads and the whole situation’s starting to go south pretty quickly. I’m doing my best refereeing between them and hoping that there’s no permanent damage while they figure everything out.”

“Good luck,” Rodney sympathized as they finished. “The stuffing just needs to be warmed up.”

John nodded as he checked the turkey again before putting the potatoes on the stove to cook. “Okay. And thanks for being here.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Rodney told him as he leaned against the counter. “How are you doing?”

John shrugged as he leaned against the counter next to Rodney. “I’m okay, I guess. It’s not easy having to deal with Nancy on an adult level or referee between Nancy and Lizzie, but I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t some small part of me that’s glad that she’s back. Regardless of what happens between me and her or Nancy and Lizzie, it’s finally giving me closure on her departure and our relationship. It’s… freeing knowing for a fact that I no longer love her and that I don’t think I have for quite a while.”

“Good for you,” Rodney told him with a smile.

The meal itself went well. The turkey turned out almost perfectly – the dryness was easily corrected with the gravy. The potatoes, stuffing, and cranberry sauce were a big hit with the kids. After Rodney, John, and Nancy had cleaned up the meal and before dessert, Rodney and John took the kids out back to play for a while and when they all came in, they were out of breath and their faces were bright red.

“John?” Nancy said. “I need to talk to you for a moment.” She pulled him into the living room as Rodney and the kids got ready for dessert and start heating water for coffee and hot chocolate. “I’ve been thinking and I can’t do this. I really wanted to, but I’m just not cut out to be a mother. I feel horrible about it, but I feel like I’m slowly dying inside the longer I stay here. This isn’t the place for me and I think that if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll agree with me. I know Lizzie’s going to hate me for leaving again, but I need to go.”

“Okay,” John replied calmly. “If that’s what you think you need to do, then okay. But you need to tell Lizzie that you’re leaving.”

“Where are you going, Mommy?” Lizzie asked from the doorway.

Nancy crouched down in front of Lizzie and took the child’s hands in her own. “Mommy has to go away for a while longer, sweetie,” she told her. “I don’t feel like I’m quite the mommy you deserve yet, so I need to go away and go to school so I can be a better mommy.”

“How long will you be gone?” Lizzie asked sadly.

“I don’t know. It might be a long time.”

“But you will come back, right?” Lizzie asked, her lower lip quivering slightly.

“You bet I will,” Nancy replied as she stood up.

“Don’t lie to her,” John murmured.

“I’m not,” Nancy replied through gritted teeth. “I just don’t plan on doing it any time soon.”

“When are you leaving?” Lizzie asked. “Will you tuck me into bed first?”

“I, um, I – yes, I will.”

“Who wants hot chocolate and pie?” Rodney called from the kitchen.

“Me!” Lizzie called as she raced back into the kitchen.

“Seriously, Nancy?” John asked as he grabbed her arm.

“She’s a child, John, she’ll get over it,” Nancy retorted. “Things would be much worse if I stay.”

John let go of her arm. “I hope you’ll be happy,” he told her angrily. “All Lizzie’s ever wanted was for her mother to come home, and she was ecstatic when you showed up. Your leaving is going to break her heart, regardless of what story you tell her.”

“You know me, John. Would you really want me to stay? I know it seems like I’m being completely selfish, but I am looking out for her.”

John just shook his head and headed into the kitchen. Rodney looked at him questioningly. John shook his head once and mouthed, “Not now,” as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Mr. Rodney’s pecan pie is very yummy, Daddy,” Lizzie told him with a smile.

“Then I’ll definitely have to try a piece,” John told her, flashing a grin at her. “And I think I’m going to try a piece of the pumpkin too.”

Rodney cut a piece of each for John and set the plate and a can of whipped cream at John’s place. John liberally applied the whipped cream to both pieces before trying a bite of each. “You know, Rodney – if the music thing doesn’t work out, you could always become a chef.”

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny,” Rodney replied dryly, but John could tell he was pleased with the praise.

Once they had finished eating, the kids pulled out Monopoly while John and Rodney turned on the football game and John tried again to explain American football to Rodney. Nancy joined them a little while later with a book. When the game was over, Rodney and a sleepy Jericho headed home with a share of the leftovers.

After they put Lizzie to bed and Nancy had packed her car, they reconvened just inside the door.

“I hope you’ll be happy, Nancy,” John said.

“Thanks,” she replied with a small smile. “Good luck with Lizzie. She’s a great kid and you’re doing a wonderful job with her. And I really am sorry I can’t do this with you. You’re a great guy and you deserve someone better than me.” She took a deep breath. “And please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you and Rodney would be great for each other. The two of you have definitely got something that a lot of people would envy.”

“Thanks for the input, Nancy,” John replied. “And I’d consider it if I even remotely swung that way. But it’s not an option.”

“Then you might want to reconsider. I’d hate for you to miss out on something great.” She kissed John on the cheek. “Thank you for this week.” Nancy picked up her purse and exited the house.

John watched her go until her car pulled out of the driveway and then shut the door. He wandered into the kitchen to clean up the miscellaneous glasses that hadn’t gone into the dishwasher and felt a wave of relief wash over him. He had always hoped that one day he’d be able to see Nancy again and finally close her chapter of his life once and for all, and now that it had happened, he had realized that it had been closed a long time ago. He just hadn’t realized it.

Early the next morning, Lizzie climbed into bed with John. “Hey, kiddo,” he said with a sleepy smile. “Did you sleep okay?”

She nodded as she cuddled next to him. “When will Mommy be back? Will she come back for Christmas?”

“I don’t know when she’ll be back,” John told her. “She might be back for Christmas, but she might go home to see her mom and dad. You know how some families go see one set of grandparents for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas?” Lizzie nodded. “She might do that.”

“Why don’t we ever see your mommy and daddy?” Lizzie asked.

“They died a few years ago, remember?” John asked her.

Lizzie thought for a moment, then nodded. “Do you think that Jericho’s mommy is friends with them, now that she’s dead too?”

“I hope so,” John replied, surprised at her question. “From what Rodney’s said, I think they would get along really well.”

“Good,” Lizzie answered. “That way they won’t be lonely.”

John and Lizzie dozed for a while longer before completely waking up. When they did, Lizzie complained of a stomach ache. John had her describe her symptoms before he felt her forehead – which felt fine, and took her temperature – which came out normal. He suspected that she didn’t really have a stomach ache, but that she was really just missing Nancy, but he let her pretend that she was sick anyway. They cuddled on the couch and watched cartoons for most of the day and John made her whatever she wanted to eat. And by bedtime she seemed to be doing a lot better.

Rodney and Jericho came for breakfast the next morning, and Lizzie brightened visibly when they came through the door.

“You’ve got to help me,” Rodney whispered to John as John finished making breakfast. “Somehow Katie’s parents found out where Jericho and I are and have been calling repeatedly over the past two days.”

“What have they been saying?” John asked quietly.

“Just that they’re angry that I took Jericho so far from them ‘so soon after such a terrible tragedy’ and that we ‘should have family around them during this time of hardship’.” Rodney rolled his eyes. “I haven’t actually *talked to them* talked to them. I check the Caller ID before I answer the phone and let it go to voicemail if it’s them. But I know I have to do something or they might come out here.”

“Do you think they’ll really do that?” John asked him.

Rodney shrugged theatrically. “How should I know? But I don’t want to test that theory either.”

John started dishing out the food as he said, “I think that you should either call them back or talk to them the next time they call and tell them that you appreciate their concern, but that the two of you are doing fine and that this was the best option available to the two of you at this time.”

“That’ll definitely get them down here,” Rodney replied glumly as he leaned forward against the counter. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.” He brightened a little. “Do you think I’m allowed to get away with doing something evil?”

“Depends on what it is,” John replied as he set the kids’ plates in front of them.

“Could I say you’re my boyfriend?”

John rolled his eyes and did his best not to laugh. “Seriously? And here I was thinking you were completely and totally one hundred percent straight.”

“Oh, I am,” Rodney retorted. “Okay, okay – there have been a couple of times when I’ve developed something of a crush on another guy, but I swear it was completely platonic and it’s only because I admired his brain.”

“Of course you did, Rodney,” John replied with a knowing nod as he thrust Rodney’s plate into his hands and picked up his own before going to the table and sitting down.

“I’m completely serious! But this plan would be perfect! It would totally get them off of my back and leave us alone! You have no idea how conservative they are – it’s downright scary. I don’t want Jericho to be influenced by them.”

“I’ll think about it, Rodney,” John told him. “Because if this gets out to anyone else, we’ll have more you’re your in-laws to worry about, and we’ll have to deal with the fallout.”

“*Pfft*,” Rodney replied with a wave of his hand. “I doubt this will get out. The kids have no idea what we’re talking about and if they say anything, any other adults that are around will think they just heard something somewhere and are convoluting things.”

“So you and Mr. John are going to get together?” Jericho asked Rodney guilelessly.

“You were saying, Rodney?” John asked with a grin before he took a bite of his pancakes.

“No! We’re not getting together!” Rodney sighed. “Just please think about it, John. Though, I’m sure that they’ll want some sort of corroborating evidence or something, so they can have something to burn or use for long-distance exorcisms or whatever.”

John chuckled. “You know, people already think we’re dating.”

“Seriously?” Rodney squeaked.

John nodded. “Nancy asked me about it last Saturday morning and Laura said something to me about it at the bowling alley.”

“I’d hate to see what would happen if we actually did get together,” Rodney told him with a shake of his head.

“Though, if we planned it out, I’m sure we could have a lot of fun with it,” John said as he grinned evilly at Rodney.

“You are evil, John Sheppard,” Rodney told him. “But if we do this, we’re doing it in name only. I’m not going to take it any farther than that.”

“Spoilsport,” John told him and the kids joined in teasing him. “Okay, I’ll do it. It might be fun to see what sort of havoc we can wreak.”

 

They got their first test the next night when John and Lizzie were over at the McKays’ for dinner. The phone rang and without thinking, Rodney said, “Can you get that, I’ve got my hands full here.”

John picked up the phone and said, “McKay residence, this is John Sheppard speaking.”

“Oh, um, is Rodney there?” a woman asked.

“He is, but he’s busy at the moment,” John replied cordially. “May I take a message?”

“Can you tell him that his mother-in-law called and that I expect him to return this call in a timely manner, unlike the previous calls?”

“Not a problem, ma’am,” John told her. “I’ll relay the message for you as soon as we end this call.”

“Thank you. And, might I ask, how did you come to answer his phone?”

“Well, he’s in the middle of making dinner and I happened to be the closest to the phone and had a free hand. Was there anything else?”

There was a bit of sputtering on the other end, before Dana finally managed, “No, there’s nothing else. Thank you, John.”

“You’re quite welcome, Mrs. Brown. Have a good evening.” John hung up the phone and turned to find Rodney staring at him in shock. “Your mother-in-law wants you to call her back and I have a feeling that if you don’t, there will be dire consequences.”

Rodney stared at him for a second longer before he began laughing uncontrollably. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

“I didn’t do anything,” John replied as he finished putting the dressing on the salad. “I simply told her the truth and whatever conclusions she jumped to are completely of her own making. Though, I would like to see you try to get out of it.”

“So, does this mean we’re really definitely doing this?” Rodney asked him.

John shrugged. “If you still want us to. It might be fun. And after the week I’ve just been through with Nancy, it might be a nice way to blow off some steam.”

“It’ll be a unique way if nothing else,” Rodney told him as they began setting the food on the table and John called the kids to the table from where they’d been watching a movie in the living room.

After dinner, they excused the kids to the rec room and John took over clean up duties so Rodney could call his in-laws back.

He sighed as he picked up the phone. “Do I have to do this?”

“Yes, Rodney, you do,” John told him. “Do you want them to come down here believing that you’re exposing Jericho to all kinds of unimaginable evils?”

“You’re right, I don’t.” Rodney dialed the number.

“And don’t you dare hang up the phone when they answer,” John threatened.

“Or you’ll what?” Rodney retorted. “Cut me off for – Oh, hi, Dana.” Rodney’s expression immediately turned serious. “No, no. Everything’s fine. John and I were just having a discussion.” They talked for a few minutes before Rodney finally hung up with a sigh of frustration. “I really hate them,” Rodney sighed.

“You know, you’re just delaying the inevitable,” John told him as he finished drying the last pan. “Maybe you should just let them come visit and get it over with.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Rodney replied emphatically. “Normally I don’t consider myself to be a cruel person and if it was anyone else, I wouldn’t deny them seeing their only grandchild or Jericho getting to know his maternal grandparents. But I can’t do it with them.” He sat down at the table and John joined him. “You know I told you they only lived two hours away?”

John nodded as he hung the towel up to dry.

“Even though we saw them a few times a year, Jericho never got any birthday or Christmas presents from them and they never spent a holiday with us. He’d get a card with some money in it and a phone call from wherever they were jet-setting to that year, but that was it. I think that now that Katie’s gone, they’re trying to connect with us as a way of making it up to her or assuaging their guilt, or something.”

“I think you should think about what you’re doing, Rodney,” John told him. “I know that you think you’re doing the right thing right now, but I don’t want you regretting it in the future. I don’t think you should cut off communication completely with them or between them and Jericho, but maybe carefully monitor it instead. It could be a good thing for all of you.” John paused for a moment and then smirked to himself before continuing. “And if they really are as bad as you say, it could lead to some interesting teaching moments between you and Jericho. And since we’ve seen that our kids do listen to us, it could get back to them in interesting ways.”

“You really are evil,” Rodney said, “and if I’m not careful, you’re going to be a bad influence on this family.”

“No, I think we’ll just be partners in crime,” John replied. “Ever since you started teaching Lizzie, she’s been ‘practicing’ on every available surface and singing to herself every chance she gets. It’s starting to drive me nuts.”

Rodney snickered. “Well, she’s definitely turning into a little prodigy. And it serves you right. Jericho’s been running around the house like a banshee in his socks and pretending to skate every time he hits the linoleum or hardwood floors.”

John shrugged. “He hasn’t fallen and hurt himself, has he?”

“Not yet. And his coach says he does seem to have a natural talent for skating and hockey.”

“Okay, so how are we going to do this?” John asked him. “Are we actually going to ‘come out’ to them?”

Rodney thought for a moment and then shook his head. “I don’t think we should unless we’re asked point-blank if we’re together. We’re going to be walking a fine line as it is, considering our own friends can’t seem to figure out if we’re together or not.” He got a gleeful look in his eyes. “But I think we should have some sort of cover story for Dana and Michael if they do ask. It could be a lot of fun to toy with them a little bit.”

“Okay,” John replied with a nod. “They say it’s always better if you stay as close to the truth as possible. So we met at a Parents Without Partners meeting shortly after you and Jericho moved here. And we and our kids hit it off and things just went from there. That’s not so farfetched – it’s happened before in the group, single parents falling in love.” He laughed. “I don’t think it’s ever happened to two people of the same sex, though.”

“Well, there’s always a first time for everything,” Rodney replied. “And we’re not really in love or getting together or whatever – we’re just getting a fake cover story together for my in-laws, nothing more.”

“Right,” John replied. “But what are we going to tell the kids? I don’t think six-year-olds are going to understand the whole ‘lying is wrong – most of the time’. And you know your in-laws are going to talk to Jericho about it and tell him that what you and I are doing is wrong and bad and you’re going to have a hell of a time straightening him out.”

Rodney sighed. “You’re right. Damn you and your analytical mind. We’ll have to tell the kids that we’re playing a game of make-believe with his grandparents or something.”

John thought for a minute. “Maybe you should invite your in-laws to come for Christmas.”

“I *what*?” Rodney asked in disbelief. “*Why* the hell would I do that?”

“They’ve been after you about seeing you and Jericho, right?” John asked. Rodney nodded warily. “Well, the longer they stay away, the more out of control their ideas about what you and I are doing are going to get until sooner or later they’re going to *have* to come out here to see for themselves. And you know what they say – the best defense is a good offense.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” Rodney asked. “You know that means that there’s a good chance we’re going to have to act like boyfriends, right?”

“I do,” John replied with a nod. “But think it through. They’ll be forced to have to accept that you aren’t cut from the same cloth as they are will be raising Jericho differently than they raised Katie and they’ll either suck it up and suffer quietly as they keep in touch, or they’ll become totally incensed and cut ties. Either way, you win since you either won’t have any contact with them or they’ll have to make an effort to be cordial to you and respect that you’re going to do what you want raising Jericho.”

Rodney thought about it for a few minutes. “I don’t know,” he said. “Having a bit of fun over the phone is one thing. But doing it in person is something completely different – especially with the kids around. They’re going to be asking us a lot of questions, and I’m sure they’ll say stuff in school or at hockey practice or wherever. Then there’s going to be questions from teachers, coaches, other parents. It could get messy.”

“Then we’ll just have to be careful. I’m sure the Browns won’t want to say anything in front of the kids about it. And if we just act normally in front of the kids, they won’t think anything’s out of the ordinary.”

Rodney thought about it for a few more minutes before decisively nodding his head. “Okay. I think you’re right.” He stood, picked up the phone and started dialing. “I’ll call them back and tell them to start planning. And you’d better help me with this or so help me God…. Hi, Dana – it’s Rodney again.” There was a slight pause. “Yes, John and I were just talking about that and yes, he’s managed to change my mind. I would love to have you and Michael come visit for Christmas.” There was another pause and Rodney winced. “A whole month? I don’t know. … Yes, I understand that but I don’t – … Okay, all right. Talk it over with Michael and call me back tomorrow. Yes, you have a good night too.”

Rodney hung up the phone with a grimace and pulled a beer out of the fridge. After gulping down half of it, he said to John, “You’re an evil, manipulative person and I plan on getting a *lot* of favors out of this.”

John grinned at him as he said, “Oh, I think you’ll end up thanking me by the end of it. So what are you going to tell Jericho?”

“Nothing until after I’ve talked to the Browns tomorrow and made plans.”

“How does he feel about them?”

Rodney shrugged as he pulled another beer out of the fridge and gave it to John before sitting back down. “I think he’s confused because he sees what other kids’ grandparents are like, but Katie’s parents aren’t like that at all. While we usually saw them for a day, maybe two whenever they were in town between trips, they were never around for holidays or his birthday like most grandparents are for their grandkids. And, as I’m sure you’ve gathered, they’re pretty hands off when they were around. So, he’s not really sure how he’s supposed to react with them.”

John nodded in understanding. “So a whole month?”

Rodney winced. “It sounds like their next trip has been delayed or something, so they have some free time. I suspect that they think they’re going to be able to make up for lost time with Jericho. And it will probably include a fair amount of expensive gifts and toys, but not a lot of in the way of affection and actual time together.”

“Jericho’s a good kid, though,” John told Rodney. “You’ve been doing a great job teaching him what’s important, and I think he’ll be able to see through their bullshit and knock them back onto the right track as only a kid can.”

“I certainly hope so,” Rodney replied. “But you are going to help me with this?”

“You bet,” John said with a nod. “I never did thank you for your help while Nancy was here, did I?”

“Thank me for what?” Rodney asked, confused. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Just being around was enough. It kept me on an even keel and helped make things seem a little more normal. I hadn’t expected for her to have such an effect on me after so long, but…” He trailed off.

“Well, you could’ve fooled me,” Rodney said. “You looked as cool as a cucumber most of the time.”

“Yeah, well,” John shrugged. “That was me trying to keep it together for Lizzie. I knew she was going to have a lot to deal with herself with her mom suddenly showing up out of the blue after being away her whole life and I didn’t want her to know what things were like between us before she was born. Nancy and I really are ill-suited for each other and it took us a long time to figure that out. And it’s too bad for Lizzie that when we repel each other, we do it pretty forcefully.”

“How’s she handling it?” Rodney asked as he fiddled with his now empty beer bottle.

“She seems to be doing okay. Friday was a little rough, since she realized that Nancy really had been serious about leaving right away, so I’ll admit to spoiling her a bit that day. Time will tell, though.”

Rodney nodded in agreement. “I completely agree.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he glanced at the clock. “Okay. We’ve got about an hour to an hour and a half before the natives start getting restless and we need to form plan of attack for ‘The Visit’.” He made air quotes around the last two words.

John laughed. “Are you actually using capital letters?”

“Maybe?” Rodney replied as he stood and retrieved a pad of paper and a pen from the kitchen’s junk drawer. “In any case, I want to have as much of an outline as possible for how the month is going to go before it actually happens.”

“And you call me the analytical one. Are they really that horrible?”

“Most of the time and this is me being reasonable and well-prepared. I want to make sure we all come out the other side in one piece and with as little psychological damage as possible. We have to think of things like them taking him gift shopping and spend time alone with him. So what about pre-approved activities they can take Jericho on?”

“You do realize that this will more than likely have to be amended once you talk to them tomorrow and get specifics, right?”

“Probably, but I want to get a head start now.”

John did his best to help Rodney outline a set of boundaries for while his in-laws would be visiting them. He did draw the line at Rodney making them stay at a hotel, arguing that Rodney had the room and that they’d be suspicious if he didn’t let them stay. He finally broke things off by taking the list when Rodney started to go through it for a third time, triple-guessing his decisions.

“Yes, right. Thank you,” Rodney said. “I tend to over-think things when I’m stressed out.”

“I’ve noticed,” John said with a smile as he folded up the list and got up to stick it in his coat pocket. “You’ll get this tomorrow when the Browns call back.”

“Evil,” Rodney told him as the kids opened the door from the basement. “Everything okay?” he asked them.

They nodded and Jericho said, “Can we have a snack before bed?”

“Sure,” Rodney replied as he got up. “Let’s see. We’ve got some fruit salad, popsicles, popcorn, pretzels, chips, cookies. What would you like?”

“Cookies,” both kids chorused.

Lizzie settled herself on John’s lap as Rodney served her and Jericho a couple of cookies each and a glass of milk. She quietly ate her snack before settling back against John’s chest and tucking her head under his chin.

“Tired, kiddo?” he asked her.

She nodded and said, “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.”

“I know, but you have to. And from what you told me last week, it sounds like you’re going to have a lot of fun with what Mrs. Campbell has planned for this week.”

“What do I say if anyone asks me about Mommy?” she asked quietly.

“What do you want to say?” John asked. She shrugged. “It’s okay, kiddo, you don’t have to say anything. Let’s go home and go to bed, okay?”

“Okay,” she said as she got up. “We’re coming over here tomorrow night for dinner, right?”

“Yes, we are,” John told her as they put on their coats. “Like we normally do.”

She seemed pleased with that answer before saying goodbye to Jericho, who jumped up to hug her.

“It gets better,” he told her when he pulled away. “At least that’s what people told my dad after my mom died. And that she’s in a better place now.”

John and Rodney both looked at each other, confused, as Lizzie said, “Let’s go, Daddy.”

 

John tried for the third time in a row to get Rodney to calm down and stop looking out the window every time he heard a car. “They said they expected to be here around one and it’s only quarter of,” he said in exasperation.

“Quarter of *is* around one!” Rodney replied. “What’s taking them so long? I just checked online and the airport is running on time and there’s no traffic between there and here.”

“Maybe they stopped to get groceries?” John supplied. “Some people do that, you know.”

“I know, but that was part of our negotiations, remember?” Rodney retorted. “I would make sure that the pantry was stocked this week. Do you think they got into an accident?”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” John told him firmly as he intercepted Rodney on his way to the phone to call them. “Sit,” he ordered. Rodney did as he was told. “Take a few deep breaths.” Rodney did so. “Slower,” John commanded and Rodney complied.

“Have I told you lately that you’re evil and I never should’ve let you talk me into this?” Rodney asked as he glared at John.

“Not in the last five minutes,” John replied calmly as he glanced out the window. “They’re here.”

“Oh, God,” Rodney said, shooting up from the chair and wringing his hands. “What am I going to do? Can I fake being deathly ill so they’ll have to go home?”

“Dana will probably decide to stay and help out until you get back on your feet,” John told him. “I’m going to get the kids and you’re going to answer the door.” John gripped Rodney’s shoulders. “You’re going to be fine. Jericho is going to be fine. You’ll both survive this visit intact and everything will be fine.”

“Just because you keep saying that, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen,” Rodney retorted as the doorbell rang.

“Go,” John said, pushing Rodney towards the door as he headed towards the basement. John used the minute it took him to walk down the steps to compose himself. “Okay, guys, it’s time to get cleaned up. Jericho’s grandparents are here.”

The kids groaned, but did as they were told.

Seeing that they were playing Monopoly yet again, John asked, “Are you two trying to set a world record for how long you can play Monopoly?”

“No, Daddy,” Lizzie replied with a giggle. “We just find different ways to play.”

“Cool,” John replied with an approving nod.

“I don’t like my grandparents,” Jericho said as he put the money back in the box.

“That’s not a nice thing to say,” John told him. “They came all this way to spend Christmas with you.”

“But they never have before.”

“Well, maybe they miss your mom as much as you do and thought it would be nice to spend time with you now that she’s gone since they haven’t seen you since the funeral.”

Jericho rolled his eyes as he closed the box and put it away.

“Come on, buddy. I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ll have a great time with them and –”

“Are you coming?” Rodney called from the top of the steps.

“Yes, we’re coming,” John called up. He herded the kids ahead of him up the steps.

“Jericho, come say hello to your grandparents,” Rodney told the child.

John and Lizzie hung back as Jericho crossed over to his dad and grandparents and said an unenthusiastic, “Hi.”

“My, you’ve gotten big,” Dana told him with a smile. “I swear, every time we see you, you’re more handsome than the last.”

“I *should* be getting bigger,” Jericho told them matter-of-factly. “It’s been *months* since the last time I saw you and Dad keeps making me eat my vegetables.”

“That always does it,” Michael replied with a chuckle. “Your dad told us you’re playing hockey now.”

Jericho grinned at that. “I play center and my coach says that I might even be able to play for the Avalanche when I get older!”

The adults all laughed at that and Rodney cut in, “Dana, Michael, I’d like you to meet John Sheppard and his daughter, Lizzie. They live across the street and two houses down and they’ve been invaluable to Jericho and I since we moved in.”

“I believe we spoke on the phone,” Dana said coolly as she and her husband turned their attention to John and Lizzie.

“Yes, we did,” John replied with a warm smile. He nudged Lizzie forward and offered them his hand. “I hope you both had a good trip out?”

“It was tolerable,” Michael replied as he stiffly shook John’s hand. “Traveling during the holidays is always chaotic when people are visiting family all over the globe.”

“That’s understandable,” John said with a nod. He started moving towards the door and Lizzie followed him closely. He paused at the kitchen to collect their coats and said, “Well, we better get going so the four of you can have a chance to catch up. Rodney – call me and let me know about Lizzie’s lessons and the mall trip.”

“You got it,” Rodney answered as he got the door for them. “I’ll have a better idea once we get settled and I check my calendar. Thanks for earlier,” he said quietly as John passed him on his way out.

“No problem,” John replied just as quietly and smiled warmly at Rodney. “You know where to find me if you need me.”

Rodney nodded. “I do. Thanks.”

John took Lizzie’s hand as they crossed the street and hoped that Rodney and Jericho would be able to survive the Browns’ visit.

 

“Our plan is working,” was the first thing out of Rodney’s mouth when John answered the phone.

“Oh?” John replied as he stirred the ground beef.

“As soon as you left, I was bombarded with questions about you and Lizzie, about you and me and our relationship. It was worse than playing Twenty Questions with Jeannie when she and I were little.”

“And what’d you say?” John asked

John could hear Rodney shrug over the phone. “The truth. Which makes this whole situation even funnier because you can practically see them trying to connect certain dots that aren’t connecting because *there’s nothing to connect*.”

John chuckled as Rodney continued, “But they said that they want us to continue with our normal schedule as much as possible and that they didn’t want to be an imposition.”

“Okay,” John replied. “And let them know that they’re also welcome to come over here for dinner when you and Jericho come over.”

Rodney snickered. “We’ll see. I need to go – Dana’s calling up the steps that dinner’s ready. I just thought you should know.”

 

John wasn’t sure what to think of Dana and Michael. He knew that what Rodney had (and hadn’t) said was only part of the story, but so far he wasn’t completely wrong. Whenever the six of them were together, John could feel them watching him, evaluating all of his actions – with Lizzie, with Rodney, with Jericho, with them. They were cordial, yet cool with all of them. Their one saving grace was that they did at least try to take an interest in Jericho.

The Browns did take John up on dinner invitation a few times, but they seemed uncomfortable each time before they stopped coming – which John was pretty sure everyone was happy about.

On the weekends, John acted as a tour guide (at Rodney’s request) and the six of them went on small excursions around town to sight-see and get a taste of the local flavor.

Throughout all of it, John and Rodney continued to do what they had always done. They teased each other and joked around and equally looked after Jericho and Lizzie as if they were their own kids. And Dana and Michael’s look went from mildly intrigued to barely masked disgust. Both John and Rodney noticed it, but declined to comment on it to them either in front of the kids or in private, but they did make light of it every chance they got between themselves because the whole situation was starting to seem just a little too surreal for them.

When Dana suggested that she and Michael watch the kids for an evening so Rodney and John could go Christmas shopping for the kids, both Rodney and John agreed quickly – neither one to look a gift horse in the mouth at such an opportunity.

The appointed night came and John dropped off Lizzie in exchange for Rodney and they took the Jeep to the mall. Rodney ranted the entire time they looked for a parking space and John laughed at him and continually reminded him that it was a week before Christmas.

The first thing John did was steer Rodney to the closest coffee stand and ordered them both a large coffee. He then led Rodney to one of the tables by the fountain. Once they were seated, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and forced Rodney to help him make up a plan of attack.

“It’s the only way we’re going to get anything accomplished tonight, Rodney,” John told him.

“Well, then we should’ve thought of that before and come at a different time,” Rodney whined.

“I wasn’t about to ask Dana if we could do it a different day and neither were you,” John ground out. “Now, come on and help me out here. What all did Jericho want in the way of board games?”

Rodney stopped complaining as soon as they began to implement John’s plan. He had ordered everything thing that they needed to get by store, starting with the store closest to the coffee shop and ending closest to the food court. And because he had written down everything they needed at each store, they were able to go in and grab what they needed and leave in a short amount of time. There were also a couple of stores in which one of them would jump in line as soon as they walked in while the other went to collect the kids’ presents.

By the time they reached the food court, they were both exhausted and starving, but they had finished their shopping in a short period of time and most of the dinner crowd had cleared out of the food court. They both grabbed sandwiches and slumped down into the nearest chairs.

“I don’t think I ever want to do this again,” Rodney said between bites of his sandwich. “Did you see that woman at the toy store? I swear she was giving me the evil eye.”

John laughed. “That may have been because you were hoarding all of the Frisbees until you decided which one you wanted. Just be glad we don’t have the kids with us.”

“Oh good Lord,” Rodney groaned. “That would have been a disaster and a half right there – trying to buy presents for the kids with them right there.”

“We would’ve figured something out,” John commented. “It seems like we always do. Seeing all the other families made me think that it’s a little odd that we have to keep an eye out for the kids or figure out a way to make sure they don’t peek in the bags or whatever.”

Rodney nodded. “Dana and Michael definitely should be given something nice just for watching the kids for us. But not too nice,” he quickly amended, “because I don’t like how they’ve been treating us.”

“Do you think we should have a talk with them?” John asked. “See what’s up? It might not have anything to do with them thinking that you and I are,” he looked around quickly and finished, “you know.”

Rodney shrugged. “It might be a good idea. But I don’t want to have any big blowups before Christmas. I had enough of those as a child.”

“We’ll just have to be careful, then,” John said. “This is Jericho’s first Christmas without his mom and it needs to be a good one.”

“You’re right,” Rodney replied. “And I intend to make it a great one. That’s why I don’t want to force anything before or on Christmas unless it’s completely unavoidable.”

Changing the subject, John said, “So, you know, you haven’t told me what you want for Christmas yet.”

Rodney waved his hand dismissively. “You don’t need to get me anything. Believe me – everything that you’ve done for Jericho and I since we moved here has been more than enough. And, you know,” he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked nervously at John, “it may come as a surprise to you, but your friendship means a lot to me – aside from Katie, I’ve never really had any friends. I tend to be a little too prickly and annoying for people to put in the effort, so thank you.”

John smiled at him. “You’re quite welcome. I’ve actually enjoyed spending time with you – it’s never been a dull moment. And I’m just glad that Lizzie has a best friend. She tends to be too quiet and serious and Jericho definitely pulls her out of her shell.”

Rodney chuckled. “And she seems to know how to keep him anchored.” He shook his head in amusement. “There must be a God or higher power or whatever if the four of us get along so well. We’re too mismatched otherwise.”

John laughed as well as they stood and gathered everything together. “I think you’re right.”

They threw away their trash and headed out with their loads of bags. The ride home was quiet, but comfortably so, and John didn’t think he had ever felt so comfortable with another person – Nancy included. Rodney helped John hide his purchases so Lizzie wouldn’t find them before John helped Rodney carry his home and hide them in the garage where Jericho wouldn’t look. He followed Rodney inside to pick up his sleepy daughter. Rodney bid John good night before heading upstairs when Dana told him they had already put Jericho to bed.

“She wasn’t any trouble, was she?” John asked Dana as he put Lizzie’s coat on her.

“Not at all,” Dana replied with a smile. “She was a complete angel. I’m surprised at how well she and Jericho get along – most children their age usually don’t seem to socialize very well with the other gender. How did the shopping go?”

“Really well,” John replied. “We were able to finish in one go. Thanks for doing this for us.”

“Not a problem at all,” Dana told him. “It felt good to look after little ones for a while.”

John picked Lizzie up and she snuggled against him. “Well, I’d better get her home.”

 

The next morning at breakfast, Lizzie said, “Jericho’s grandparents aren’t nice.”

“What makes you say that, kiddo?” John asked, turning his full attention on Lizzie and immediately getting worried that something had happened the night before. “Did they hurt you or Jericho last night? Or make you do anything you didn’t want to?”

Lizzie shook her head. “No. Jericho and I were in the basement playing Monopoly and we went upstairs to ask if we could have a drink and we heard them talking and they sounded unhappy. They said that you and Mr. Rondey were f-f-faggots?” She looked at John uncertainly before continuing, “And they think that that’s bad for Jericho and me. Is it bad like that tummy bug I got once, Daddy?”

“It’s nothing like that, but it’s not considered a nice word,” John replied, relief washing through him. “‘Faggot’ is a word that means that someone likes someone else of the same sex like a mommy and daddy would like each other.”

“But there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?” Lizzie asked, her brow creasing.

“Not at all,” John replied with a grin. “It’s a great thing if that’s the way you are.”

“Do you and Mr. Rodney like each other that way?”

John laughed. “No, we don’t. We’re just best friends – like you and Jericho.”

“Oh.” Lizzie sighed and looked down into her cereal.

“Do you want us to be?” John asked her.

Lizzie shrugged. “Mr. Rodney makes you happy and you make him happy like the way Mr. Rodney gets when he talks about Mrs. Rodney, and not like the way you and Mommy were most of the time when she was here.”

John felt guilty that Lizzie had picked up on the tension between Nancy and himself. But he couldn’t argue that Rodney definitely brightened whenever he talked about Katie. But how did Lizzie put together that Rodney + John = Rodney + Katie? He was about to ask her some more when he glanced at the clock and realized that if they didn’t move right away, she was going to miss the bus.

“We’ll talk about this more later, okay, kiddo?” he asked as he quickly gathered Lizzie and her things and herded her outside. Lizzie nodded as he fixed her backpack straps. “And don’t worry about Jericho’s grandparents. I’ll talk to Rodney about them and we’ll see what’s going on.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek as the bus pulled up to the corner. “Have a good day at school.”

“You too, Daddy,” she said with a grin before getting on the bus behind the rest of the kids.

When the bus pulled away, John saw Rodney was on the other side of the street, his mouth set in a grim line.

“I guess Jericho told you about last night?” John asked Rodney.

Rodney nodded. “Part of me wants to yell at them for saying something like that where the kids could possibly hear and let them have it that you and I are not – and never will be – together, and the other part of me wants to just plant a huge wet one on you right here where they and the rest of the neighborhood can see us just because I could if I wanted to.”

John laughed heartily. “Well, I’ll leave that decision up to you. But remember that you need to figure out the way that’ll still give Jericho a good, if not great, Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rodney replied regretfully and glanced down the street before looking back at John. “I’m beginning to think that the best route would be to figure out how to cut their visit short and have it be just the four of us. But we’ll see. I’ll talk to them and see if we can come to some sort of agreement, and then we’ll go from there. Thankfully, I still have a week until Christmas to decide.”

“Good luck,” John told him. “You know where to find me if you need me.”

“Thanks,” Rodney replied. “And I meant what I said last night.”

“I know,” John said with a smile. “And I appreciate it. I’d better get going – I’ve got class soon.”

 

John didn’t hear from Rodney for the next two days, and if it hadn’t been for Lizzie telling him that Jericho said that his dad and grandparents were in the middle of some sort of ‘big discussion’ and that Jericho didn’t seem very happy about it, he would’ve gone over there to make sure everyone was still alive.

It finally came to a head one evening three days before Christmas when John went out to get the mail he had forgotten earlier that afternoon and saw Rodney forcefully putting luggage in the back of the Browns’ rental car. He slammed the trunk shut as John got to the bottom of his driveway.

“Is everything okay, Rodney?” John asked him.

“It will be in about five minutes,” Rodney replied shortly as he headed back to the house. He opened the front door and yelled inside, “Everything’s ready – let’s go!” before forcefully pulling it shut.

“Rodney?” John asked sternly as Rodney brushed by him on the front walk.

“I’m kicking them out, John,” Rodney replied, still refusing to make eye contact, as if that alone would talk him out of what he was doing. “It appears that they can’t be nice any longer and they really do think that you and I are together and you know I have horrible social skills and can hardly smooth things over to save my life, so I’ve packed their things and called the airline and they’re going back to Buffalo today.”

“Rodney!” John practically shouted as he grabbed Rodney’s coat arm and swung him around to look at him. “*What* is going on?”

“They don’t approve of our ‘lifestyle choice’, however on the down low they think we’re keeping it and they don’t think it’ll have a good affect on the kids. Things were... said. And I basically told them that I could do whatever the hell I wanted, that Jericho is in no way in danger of my ‘lifestyle choice’ and that they knew where they could stick it if they didn’t like what I was saying. They, obviously, took offense to that and... well... here we are.” Rodney went back and opened the front door and leaned in. “If you don’t leave now, you’ll miss your flight and I won’t take you back in if you come back!”

John couldn’t hear what was being said on the other side, but a moment later Dana and Michael appeared, both with sour looks on their faces and carrying their coats and a few small bags. Neither said anything to Rodney as they put their items in the backseat of the car and got into the front.

“It was very nice to meet you, John,” Michael told him coolly. “And thank you for what you did for us.”

“You’re welcome,” John replied. “Have a good trip home.”

“What are you doing?” Rodney hissed over the top of the car as he shut Dana’s door.

“Twisting the knife,” John hissed back as he closed the driver’s side door. He joined Rodney on the top of the driveway and waved at the Browns as they backed out. Once they had pulled away, John turned to Rodney and said, “Okay, what the hell was that about?”

“I couldn’t take it anymore, John,” Rodney told him, the tension visibly draining out of his body. “I couldn’t go another day listening to them making lightly veiled comments about you and how a ‘math teacher’ is helping raise their grandson. And how we’re contributing to the degradation of society – like single dads are any worse than single moms!”

Seeing the beginnings of a rant, John grabbed Rodney’s coat and made him focus on him, wanting to stop Rodney before he really got started. “What’s really behind this, Rodney?”

Rodney stared at him for a long moment, as if he was trying to focus on him, before finally saying, “I think I really liked the idea.”

“And what idea would that be?” John asked, his patience starting to wear thin.

Rodney looked a little shell-shocked as he said, “You and me together.”

Thrown for a loop and sensing this was going to take a while to sort out, John said, “Get Jericho and come over to my place. I’ll make dinner and we’re going to discuss this.”

Rodney nodded and went inside. John shook his head and headed home – where a bewildered Lizzie was waiting at the door.

“What’s wrong, Daddy?” she asked, her cheeks red from where she had been standing in the doorway watching them.

“I’m not too sure, kiddo,” John told her as they went inside. “But Rodney’s going to be over in a minute with Jericho, and he and I are going to figure it out.”

“Can Jericho and I watch a movie?” Lizzie asked.

“Sure,” John told her as he started pulling things out for dinner. Hearing the door open, he said, “Why don’t you and Jericho go pick one out now and start it?”

Lizzie grinned as she ran off. A moment later, Rodney appeared in the kitchen. Silently, John handed Rodney a beer before he turned on the stove, his stomach clenching at what might happen.

“So...” he finally said, his back still to Rodney as he started cooking meat for tacos. “You threw them out because you realized that you like the idea of us being together?”

Rodney snorted as he sat down at the table. “I did not and you know it. I threw them out because they were being complete and utter morons who don’t care about other people’s feelings and that other people might know what’s good for themselves. This idea hit me as I was trying to think of good ways of making them miserable.”

“I’m still not following,” John told him, studiously concentrating on browning the ground beef. His stomach flipped a little.

“I’m not sure I do either,” Rodney replied with an abrupt laugh. There was a slight pause as he took a drink of his beer. “I just started thinking about how much I like you and I like being around you and how good you are with Jericho – sometimes I think you’re better with him than I am – and how I can’t afford to lose you because of my idiotic in-laws.”

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, if you hadn’t noticed,” John told him, finally turning around to look at Rodney – who was sitting at the table with a hangdog look on his face.

“Oh, intellectually I know that, but it doesn’t prevent me from worrying that you’d think that Dana and Michael are too much to deal with and break things off. Or you’ll figure out that I’m too much to deal with and break things off. You know I like to make worrying into an Olympic-level competition.”

John chuckled as he turned back to the meat and tried to keep Rodney on track. “I’m still not sure I’m following you, Rodney. So you like the idea of us together and were afraid that I’d take Lizzie and run because I thought that either you or your ex-in-laws aren’t worth the effort?”

“Yeah, that’s basically it.”

“So, what do you think we should do about it?” John asked as he moved over to the sink so he could drain off the grease.

“I don’t know.” John could hear the shrug in Rodney’s voice. “I know you’re completely straight. And while I’m more bisexual than I normally let on, I don’t want to make you angry and scare you off.”

“And what makes you think you’re going to scare me off?” John asked as he poured the seasoning packet and the water into the meat and began stirring it. It helped him keep his focus and not let his mind wander too far. “I think it’s going to take *a lot* more than you telling me that you’re bisexual, you like the idea of us together, and you choosing me over Jericho’s grandparents for that to happen.”

“Well, because you… you’re straight. You even said so when Nancy was here! And you sounded pretty damn sure about yourself.”

John shook his head in amusement. “Just because I’m straight doesn’t mean that I’m going to run away just because another guy tells me he’s attracted to me,” John replied as he turned to face Rodney again. “And just because I’m confidently straight, I don’t think that means I should prevent myself from trying new things.”

It took Rodney a moment to process that information, but by the look on his face, it wasn’t completely registering. “So what exactly are you saying?” Rodney finally asked him.

“I’m saying that I kind of like the idea too,” John replied, giving Rodney a small smile. “And if that means that I find out I’m bisexual like Nancy seems to think I am, I doubt that the world’s going to end because of it.”

Rodney laughed. “If only Katie could see us now – I think she would love this. When she realized that she wasn’t going to pull through the last time, she started preparing for what she called LAK – Life After Katie. Obviously, there were certain things she wanted me to do with Jericho that she liked doing when she was growing up. And she made sure that I knew without a doubt that she was completely fine with me falling in love whenever it happened – whether it was the day after her funeral or 3,000 days after. And while she knew that I was bisexual, I don’t think she had you in mind, though.”

“Most people don’t,” John replied with a smile. He turned the stove down to warm and began cutting up vegetables and grating the cheese. “I don’t think Nancy had you in mind either at first when she started thinking I’d moved on with someone else. So, do we give this a shot or what?”

Rodney shrugged. “I’m not really sure,” he replied. “I think my brain’s still trying to process everything. So, you’re sure that you’re interested in me in more than just a best friend sort of way?”

“I’m sure that I’m interested in exploring the idea of being more than just friends with you,” John told him. “I honestly don’t know if that means being boyfriends or whatever you want to call it, or we continue being heterosexual lifemates, or we find some other way of being whatever we need to be for each other.”

Rodney nodded. “Okay. I want that too. Here’s the hard part – how?”

John shrugged as he scooped up the diced tomatoes and put them in the bowl. “I don’t know. I think we’re both comfortable enough with each other that we should be able to try things out and see how we feel without having to worry. We know each other well enough that we can say what’s on our minds and know that the other one won’t take it out of hand.”

Rodney stood up and joined John at the counter. “So, if I wanted to do this...” he trailed off and licked his lips nervously before he leaned in and chastely kissed John on the lips for the briefest of moments.

“I’d say that’s okay,” John told him huskily when Rodney pulled away. “Though, if you’re going to do something like that, you’ve got to be ready to follow through with whatever comes after it.”

Rodney gave John a questioning look as John wiped his hands on a dish towel. John took Rodney’s face in his hands and kissed him harder and more intimately. Kissing Rodney was completely different than kissing Nancy. The height difference was one factor, and the face between his hands wasn’t as delicate as a woman’s. Rodney’s hands came up and twisted themselves in John’s shirt. He held on as John licked his tongue along Rodney’s bottom lip, and Rodney’s mouth easily opened up for him. Regardless of the differences, it was still intoxicating. Maybe even more so, because he *knew* Rodney in a way that he’d never known Nancy – or anyone else for that matter.

Suddenly, Rodney was pushing him away and looking at him with a mixture of surprise, shock, and maybe even a hint of desire. “What the hell was that about?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” John told him, sheepishly. “It just felt like the right thing to do after what you did. I’m sorry – that was out of line and I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Rodney told him. “Too soon, maybe, but it wasn’t completely unwanted – just totally unexpected.”

“Let’s take this slow, okay?” John said as he turned back to their dinner. “I don’t want to screw anything up just because we rushed it. And I need to get my head around this a little more.”

“That sounds fair,” Rodney told him as he backed off a few steps. “Do you need any help finishing dinner?”

“You can set the table,” John told him. Rodney nodded and did as he was told.

John watched him as Rodney set out the plates, silverware, and napkins. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing and this had to be the most insane thing he had ever undertaken – even more so than taking care of Lizzie by himself when he didn’t know one thing about babies, let alone baby girls. And yet, he couldn’t deny that he and Rodney had a connection that ran deeper than just purely best friends and he wanted to explore that.

It did unsettle him a little because he had never really thought about another guy that way. Having a drunk three-way with Nancy and another straight guy that he probably wouldn’t have remembered in the morning was one thing. Soberly entering into a romantic relationship with another guy when there were kids involved was something completely different. But when the other person was *Rodney*, that seemed to bypass any sort of obstacle that his mind could put in his way.

“Earth to space cadet,” Rodney said, snapping his fingers in front of John’s face. “Come back to Earth.” He smiled softly when John focused on him. “There you are. You may want to get the meat off the stove before it dries out.”

John nodded and dished the meat out and placed it on the table with everything else – which Rodney had placed on the table while John had zoned out.

Rodney’s eyes suddenly went wide. “What should we tell the kids?” he asked, suddenly panicking.

John shrugged. “Let’s see how things go for a while first,” he said. “We don’t want them thinking that we’re going one way and then a moment later we’re going another. We’ll know when it’s the right time to tell them and what to tell them. Kids! Dinner!”

“So, this thing between us,” Rodney said, wagging his finger between himself and John.

“Don’t worry about it, Rodney,” John replied with a chuckle as he patted Rodney on the arm. “What happens, happens. Think of it as the improvisation section of a piece of music.”

“I’ve always hated the improv sections,” Rodney sighed as he sat down and the kids came in.

 

As Rodney helped John wrap presents in his room that night, John could tell that Rodney was definitely more relaxed now that the Browns were gone and John was happy for him.

“You know, I don’t regret it,” Rodney said, as if he had read John’s thoughts. “I spent years being nice to them for Katie’s sake – though I think she wanted to tell them off sometimes too. Right now, though, I feel great for doing it. Did you feel this good after Nancy left?”

“Well, no, since Nancy was the one who made the decision to leave,” John replied, pausing for a second to listen as he glanced at the door – which was open a crack. “But I did feel relieved. I think I had always kind of wondered what it would be like if she came back and now I know. So, do you feel like you’re getting a fresh start, starting a new chapter, whatever you want to call it?”

“Yeah, I do, actually,” Rodney replied with a crooked grin. “I did most of my grieving for Katie while she was dying. But it seems like everyone expected me to do it afterwards, so I felt like I’ve been stuck in some sort of weird limbo for the past few months and now I’m free.”

John grinned as they started putting the presents back in his closet. “Good for you. Though, that kind of makes me feel like I’m your rebound relationship.”

“Believe me – I’m way past rebounding at this point.” They finished putting the wrapped presents away. “I still can’t believe you bought Jericho all this stuff.”

“Well, you bought Lizzie a lot of stuff, so I think we’re about even,” John replied as they put the rest of the wrapping odds and ends away. “We’ll do your stuff tomorrow night.” They started to move to the door and John reached out to put his hand on Rodney’s shoulder, but stopped himself and let his hand drop.

Rodney looked at him quizzically before saying, “You’re not a very tactile person are you?”

John shook his head. “Not unless you count with Lizzie, no. Growing up, my family was very hands off, so I thought that was normal. And things with Nancy weren’t much better unless we were tearing each other’s clothes off.”

Rodney opened the door, but didn’t go through. “It’s okay to touch me, you know.”

“I know – or, at least I had figured,” John replied with a nod. “Not that you’re a very tactile person either.”

“Maybe not, but I’m more of one than you. And, you know, it’s a perfectly normal action among both friends and people who are more than just friends.”

“I’m not even sure where I was going with it,” John told him. “Forget it. We should go check on the kids.”

Rodney laughed and shook his head. “You’re an interesting person, John Sheppard. You know, with your easy charm and easy-going personality, I doubt anyone’s noticed that you have a tendency to keep everyone at arm’s length. And I think you like it that way.”

“Yes, yes I do,” John replied as they headed downstairs. “And then you came along and who knows what I’m going to end up with by the time you’re done with me. My luck, it’ll be someone who’s really clingy with octopus hands.”

“I may be evil, but I am not *that* evil,” Rodney told him with a dark look. “It may not seem like it, but I really do know my boundaries.”

“Though, most of the time, you just decide to ignore them.”

“Only when I’m dealing with idiots and morons,” Rodney told him. “It’s not my fault that that happens to be most of the time.”

John stopped at the bottom of the steps when he saw Lizzie and Jericho were snuggled together on the couch, asleep, with a second movie still going.

“I guess we were at it longer than we thought,” Rodney commented. “I’ll show Jericho and myself out and we’ll see you two tomorrow.”

John nodded as he stopped the DVD and turned off the TV as Rodney got Jericho up. John carefully picked up Lizzie and she snuggled against him. Before heading upstairs, he quickly leaned in and kissed Rodney on the cheek.

“Good night,” he said. “And thank you for your help.”

“No, uh, no problem,” a stunned Rodney replied as he worked on Jericho’s coat. “Just remember that I expect you to put in the same amount of effort tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I have all day to rest up,” John replied with a cheeky grin. “One of the perks of being a math professor.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha,” Rodney replied sarcastically. “I’m sure I could find a way to get you back for that, if you’re fishing for one.”

“No way in hell,” John replied. “Oh! We’ve got to take the kids to see Santa!”

“And you remembered this now?!?” Rodney asked him. “Don’t you know it’s going to be a zoo?”

“I’m sorry!” John replied. “Look, it’ll be fine. We’ll do it the day after tomorrow, since you’ll be off. We’ll pick up the kids and take them right after school and beat most of the crowd.”

“Okay,” Rodney sniffed. “And I may have a few extra things I need to get at the mall while we’re there.”

“Me too,” John said. “So, two birds with one stone.”

Rodney nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

 

John wasn’t sure how they did it, but they managed to get everything done before the kids’ bedtime on Christmas Eve. The kids had been enthusiastic about seeing Santa and had easily sat on his lap and told him what they wanted for Christmas. Afterwards, they split up so John and Rodney could get what they needed before reconvening in the food court for ice cream.

Afterwards, they went home and decorated the fake tree that John had pulled out of the attic. The kids loved decorating the tree, and it took some doing from John and Rodney to explain that they had to decorate more than the bottom half of the tree.

“Looks good,” Rodney finally said as the foursome drank hot chocolate and ate cookies. “I think I’m ready for Christmas now.”

John nodded his approval. “I’ve still got a few presents to wrap, but I agree.”

“Speaking of,” Rodney drained the rest of his mug. “So do I. Ready to go, Jericho?”

Jericho nodded sleepily. “We need to put out cookies and milk for Santa.”

“Yes, we do,” Rodney replied as he stood.

“And you’re *sure* he knows where we are?” Jericho asked him, looking at Rodney skeptically.

“Yes, I am,” Rodney told him. “Remember when I had to do all that stuff to have our mail come here and so everyone would know we live here now?” Jericho nodded. “Well, one of those forms was so Santa would know where we moved to.”

“Okay,” Jericho replied as Rodney got their coats, still not completely convinced.

“Come on,” Rodney told him, ushering him towards the door. “The quicker we get moving, the quicker you can get to bed and the quicker you’ll get your proof.”

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” John told them and Lizzie waved sleepily from the couch. “Come over whenever you’re ready.” John locked up behind them before going upstairs to put Lizzie to bed and wrap Rodney’s presents.

The next morning, John was about to enjoy his first cup of coffee when the doorbell began ringing incessantly. He and Lizzie reached the door at the same time and he let her open it. Jericho was on the other side, his coat unzipped, his hat askew, and one glove was missing. He was out of breath and his face was red.

“Santa came!” he finally managed.

John ushered Jericho inside before leaning out the door to look for Rodney, trying not to laugh. The other man was coming down the sidewalk, a “Santa’s bag” that John had made him buy slung over one shoulder, and a trash bag filled with presents in the other hand.

Leaving the door opened a crack for Rodney, John turned back to Jericho, who was in the middle of telling Lizzie his story. “– And the cookies and milk were gone and so were the carrots for the reindeer! And there was a big bag of presents next to the door with my name on it!”

John smiled, pretty sure Jericho hadn’t taken another breath since he came inside. He collected Jericho’s outerwear and stuck his hat and glove in a pocket before hanging it on the banister as the kids ran off to look at the tree and Rodney came inside.

“I apologize completely,” Rodney said as he set own the bags. “Getting this bag was one of the best ideas ever. Jericho totally bought it.”

“I’m glad,” John replied as he took Rodney’s coat and put it over top Jericho’s. “Oh, Teyla and Ronon are coming for dinner later and they’ll be bringing it.”

“Great,” Rodney said as he made a beeline for the coffee. “One less thing for us to worry about with these two.” Seeing them eyeing the tree and presents when he came back, he said, “We’d better get started.”

John laughed. “Let me get my coffee.”

The day passed in a flurry of activity. The kids tore through their presents, excited about their new toys, books, and games – though, as usual, clothing didn’t go over so well. In between opening his own presents and watching Rodney open is, John took pictures of the kids in various stages of opening and playing with their toys.

John couldn’t help laughing when he opened one of his gifts from Rodney to find a copy of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Teaching College. “I’m not exactly a first year teacher, Rodney,” he remarked dryly.

“Oh, I know, but I couldn’t resist,” Rodney replied with a laugh. “I figured you and your colleagues would get a laugh out of it.”

“I’m sure we will.” John handed Rodney a box. “Here.”

Rodney eyed him suspiciously as he felt its weight. He opened it to find a new digital metronome. “Wow. This is really top of the line,” he said, examining the box. “You didn’t –”

“No, but I wanted to,” John replied.

“Can we have breakfast now?” Jericho asked.

Surveying the room, John said, “After we clean up the wrapping paper and check for runaway presents.”

The kids laughed but did as they were told and soon all the paper was collected into a large trash bag and all the presents were accounted for. And, true to childish Christmas logic, Jericho and Lizzie rushed through their breakfast as soon as it was set in front of them, wanting to get back to their gifts.

John and Rodney took their time, enjoying their food and each other’s company. John couldn’t help thinking back over the past year and how much had changed. He and Lizzie had both found a best friend in the sarcastic musician and his son who had moved in down the street. And Nancy had come back into their lives after being away for so long and was gone just as quickly. And now he and Rodney were sort of, kind of, maybe something more. Rodney had been right before – John tended to keep people at arm’s length, letting his cool exterior lull them into thinking that they were closer to him than they really were. Normally, John hated letting anyone in, but Rodney had wormed his way in without John noticing it, and it felt good. He looked over at Rodney, who had become dear to him in the past few months and who had somehow managed to get past his defenses to become his best friend.

“What?” Rodney asked, looking at him questioningly. “Do I have something on my face?” He quickly picked up his napkin and began wiping his mouth. “John? Is everything okay? You’re starting to worry me.”

John blinked a few times, focusing in on Rodney. “Yeah, sorry. I zoned out there for a second.” He gave Rodney an amused smile. “Your face is fine, Rodney.”

“Good.” Rodney let out a relieve sigh. “You were starting to worry me there.”

“I was just thinking about how insane the past year’s been.”

Rodney’s expression softened and he gave John a hesitant smile. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Have you thought any more about us?”

John laughed as he pushed his plate forward and crossed his arms in front of him on the table and leaned on them. “I haven’t had time with all of the Christmas preparations. Have you?”

Rodney sheepishly shook his head. “No, I haven’t. But Christmas is definitely a valid reason. And we did say we’d take it slow.”

John nodded. “So we did.”

He licked his lips before leaning over and capturing Rodney’s mouth with his own. This time there was no comparing Rodney to Nancy or anyone else. It was all about the softness of Rodney’s lips, the bitter taste of coffee mixed with the sweetness of pancake syrup, and the way Rodney yielded to him for a moment before kissing him back with equal intensity. Rodney’s hand came up and cupped the back of John’s head to hold him in place as he took control of the kiss and plundered John’s mouth. John willingly opened up for him and groaned softly in the back of his mouth, which earned him a soft snort from Rodney, and he could feel Rodney’s lips curve up slightly into a smile. It had been far too long since he had felt anything this amazing, and he wanted it to continue forever.

Two high-pitched giggles quickly snapped them back to reality, and they broke off the kiss. Rodney pulled his hand away like he’d been burned as they turned to find Lizzie and Jericho looking at them in open amusement, both grinning from ear to ear.

“I think we’ve been found out,” John commented dryly to Rodney before saying to the kids. “And what are you two giggling at?”

The two kids giggled again, this time a little more shyly, now that John and Rodney were watching them. “You and Mr. Rodney were *kissing*,” Lizzie finally said.

“And you think that’s funny?” John asked as he got up with a smile on his face. “Hmmm?” he asked as he swiftly closed the distance to them and tickled her, causing her to giggle again. “Do you?” He tickled Jericho too, who also giggled.

“Yes,” both kids gasped between giggles and Lizzie added, “You and Mr. Rodney are cute.”

John simply raised an eyebrow at that and crouched down to look at Jericho, who shrugged. “Does this mean you’re going to be my Dad too?” Jericho asked him.

“I don’t know,” John replied seriously and he heard Rodney get up and start clearing the table. “Do you want me to be?”

“That would be cool,” Jericho said with a grin. “You can teach me all sorts of cool stuff.”

“Would you mind if Rodney became your other Daddy, Lizzie?” John asked her.

“No,” she replied with an emphatic shake of her head. “I like Mr. Rodney a lot and he’s teaching me how to play pretty music like him. And if we lived together, I’d get to see Jericho all the time.”

John could tell those thoughts definitely seemed to please her. “Rodney and I –” How could he explain to them that he and Rodney weren’t sure themselves what was going to happen? “We’re going to take it slow, so we might not be moving in together or anything like that for a long time,” he told them truthfully. “When Lizzie’s mommy left, it made me a little sad in here,” John touched his chest over his heart, “and Rodney’s still a little sad that Jericho’s mommy died.” He hoped that the kids would take the bait and not ask too many more questions that he wasn’t ready to answer.

“Then you can make each other happy,” Lizzie said decisively, as if it was that easy.

John let out a short breath, if only it could be. “We’re trying, kiddo,” he told her with a small smile. The doorbell rang. “That’s Ms. Teyla and Mr. Ronon,” he told them. “Want to go get the door?”

The kids grinned and ran off, excited by the prospect of new people to show their Christmas gifts. John stood and let out a long breath. He turned and found Rodney standing stiffly at the kitchen sink. John closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Rodney’s waist and Rodney relaxed back into him.

“We’ll get through this,” he told Rodney, squeezing his arms lightly.

“I know we will,” Rodney told him. “I’m just not sure how we’re going to do it.”

John let go as he heard footsteps coming down the hall towards the kitchen. “We’ll think of something,” he said to reassure himself as much as Rodney. “We’ve each got a six year old child, if that hasn’t prepared us for any eventuality, I don’t know what will.”

Rodney laughed as Ronon entered and went back to putting the dishes in the dishwasher. “I guess you’re right.”

“Hey, big guy,” John said, clearing some more space on the table so Ronon could put down the load he was carrying. “Teyla knows she’s only cooking for the six of us, right?” he joked.

“You know how she gets when she starts cooking,” Ronon said with a fond smile. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you, too,” John said as Rodney threw a “Merry Christmas” over his shoulder while he closed the dishwasher and finished tidying up the counter. “Did you two have a good morning?”

“We did,” Ronon replied with a nod, his smile turning a little shier. John had always found it amusing that such a large guy could be so hesitant when talking about his personal life.

Jericho ran in at that moment and grabbed Ronon’s hand. “Mr. Ronon! Mr. Ronon! Come look at this!” he said, and pulled Ronon out of the room. John and Rodney laughed at Ronon’s amusement as Teyla came into the kitchen with the rest of the food items.

“What do you need us to do, Teyla?” John asked.

“Not much at the moment,” she replied. “Everything is ready, it just has to be cooked. A few things do need to be refrigerated, however.”

“Not a problem,” John said as he opened the refrigerator and began making space for the items she handed him. “I would have figured that the two of you would’ve flown south for the holidays,” he commented.

“We had considered it,” she said, “but then we decided that we wanted to spend the holiday by ourselves, since we haven’t done so since we met.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he said as he leaned against the counter next to Rodney.

“Then why are you spending any of it with us?” Rodney asked.

“Just because we did not want to spend the whole holiday with family, does not mean we wouldn’t want to spend at least part of it with close friends.” She smiled warmly at them and squeezed both of their upper arms. “Relatives and friends we choose as family are two different things.”

“Don’t we know that!” Rodney said and John chuckled.

“I’m sorry things did not go well with Jericho’s grandparents, Rodney,” Teyla told him as she shrugged out of her coat and put it over the back of a chair.

“Yeah, me too,” Rodney said. “But it was a long time in coming and they didn’t exactly make it easy either.”

“And what about Nancy, John?” she asked him.

John shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s off doing her own thing and I think that’s the way she prefers it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that she doesn’t see the gift that she has in you and Lizzie. But I’m sure that you will find someone who is worth your love and affection.”

Rodney choked on his coffee and John slapped him on the back. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he gasped.

Teyla looked between them and smiled knowingly. “It seems my words may have come too late. Good luck to both of you.”

“You – what?” Rodney asked, startled. “You can tell –”

“I told you she’s psychic, Rodney,” John told him quietly.

“I am not psychic and you know it, John Sheppard!” Teyla replied with a light laugh as she smacked him on the shoulder. “I simply know how to read people. And the two of you have been dancing around each other since you met. I’m very happy for both of you.”

“We’re not –” Rodney started.

“And don’t deny it, Rodney McKay,” Teyla said, turning her steely gaze on him. “You’re more open than John is.”

“She’s got a point, Rodney,” John told him. “You have the worst poker face I’ve ever seen. Though, I have to disagree, Teyla,” he said to her. “This is a recent development.”

“If you say so,” she said seriously, though the amusement was still evident in her eyes.

Rodney rolled his eyes and left the kitchen. “I give up.”

“I really am happy for you, John,” Teyla said. “You’ve been lonely for far too long. And while a relationship with a child is very rewarding, I know certain needs have not been met in a long time.”

“Why, Teyla, if I’d known you were offering....” John grinned at her as he trailed off.

Teyla rolled her eyes and smacked him again. Turning completely serious, she said, “I’m sure you’ll be very happy with him – the two of you suit each other very well.”

“I’m glad you think so,” John told her. He was surprised to find that he was happy to have her approval of his whatever-relationship with Rodney. “Though, we’re not exactly sure what we’re getting ourselves into. We might not even get together.”

Teyla shrugged. “Either way, you have both found the courage to do what few others have and that’s to admit your real feelings and pursue them to whatever level they manifest themselves.”

“No wonder your New Age shop does so well,” he said. “You definitely know your stuff.”

“I would be surprised if I didn’t, after the years of study and practice I’ve put into my chosen path,” she told him. Changing the topic, she said, “I think we should join the rest of the group before the children get too antsy. I think they want to show me everything they’ve received, and I’m sure you’ll be asked to assist in some way.”

John chuckled. “I think you’re right.”

They joined the group in the living room and immediately Lizzie asked John to help her open the packaging on one of her Barbies. Teyla smiled as she settled into the couch and made herself comfortable under Ronon’s arm.

John glanced at them and wondered if he and Rodney would be like that. Teyla and Ronon looked so happy and comfortable together. He was definitely happy for them and just a little jealous. Maybe Teyla was right – maybe he had been lonely for too long and just hadn’t realized it. It was easy enough to subvert his own needs when he was looking after a baby who grew into a toddler, who was now a young child. But Lizzie was starting to become more independent, and he knew that it was feasible for him to start thinking a little more about himself now.

The afternoon and evening were relaxing and John had a good time playing with the kids and socializing with the other adults. It felt good to be with those he considered his real family.

When dinner time came, he and Rodney helped Teyla in the kitchen while Ronon read to the kids from one of their new books. As they moved around the kitchen, the two men couldn’t help sneaking small touches and looks. Teyla swatted them more than once for not paying attention to their tasks and the three of them would then laugh.

As they sat down to eat, Teyla maneuvered them so John was at the head of the table, Rodney was on his left, Lizzie to John’s right, Teyla was next to Lizzie, Ronon was at the foot of the table, and Jericho was on Rodney’s left. During the meal, everyone was quiet as they ate. John and Rodney continued to sneak small glances at each other, and Lizzie and Jericho giggled.

Teyla made Rodney and John stay at the table while she and Ronon cleared the table and then brought out the dessert and coffee. Miffed that they weren’t allowed to have any, Jericho and Lizzie were served chocolate milk in coffee mugs, much to their delight.

“When do you have time to do all of this cooking and baking, Teyla?” John asked as they surveyed the large tray of cookies.

Teyla shrugged as she sat down. “It’s not hard at all when you budget your time and do a little each day.”

“And you don’t have a kid,” Rodney commented. “Christmas is insane enough without baking.”

“I’m sure that you could do it even with a child,” Teyla assured him. “I know I did it with my mother.”

“And so did I,” Ronon added. “A lot of people do. But, then, they don’t have your insane in-laws visiting either.”

Both Rodney and John laughed. “You’re right about that,” John said. “They were kind of crazy,” he said to Rodney.

“You’re not going to hear any complaints from me,” Rodney said.

Once the meal was over, Teyla once again barred everyone but Ronon from the kitchen so they could clean up.

“I think I should ask her to cook every day for us,” Rodney said as he and John sat down shoulder to shoulder on the couch. “She’s fantastic.”

“She is,” John said with a nod as they watched the kids set up their new Monopoly game. “I think she watches the food network as a hobby or something.”

“Can you read us the directions?” Lizzie asked John and held out the paper to him.

John took it and read the directions out loud to the kids and they set it up accordingly.

The two men fell into a comfortable silence as they watched the kids play. John liked sitting next to Rodney like this. He could feel the heat radiating off of Rodney, and his solid presence was comfortable next to him. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rodney’s hand was resting on his thigh. John slowly and carefully moved his hand until the side of his hand was next to the side of Rodney’s. He carefully nudged Rodney’s little finger with his own and then pushed it underneath Rodney’s. Both men glanced down at their hands and then up at each other’s faces. John raised his eyebrows as Rodney looked at him questioningly. Rodney covered John’s hand with his own and John turned his hand palm up. They entwined their fingers and John scooted a little closer to Rodney.

Teyla and Ronon joined them a little while later and Ronon sat in one of the armchairs and Teyla joined the kids on the floor and asked them about the game. John smiled as he watched the kids explained it to her, glad they were enjoying it. As she interacted with them, John couldn’t help but think that Teyla would make an excellent mother and wondered why she and Ronon hadn’t had kids yet.

“Have you two ever thought about having kids?” Rodney asked them as Teyla sat back against Ronon’s leg, as if reading John’s mind. “Because you’re great with these two. In fact, if you’re looking to adopt, I’m sure we could make some sort of arrangement.”

“We have,” Teyla said as both she and Ronon laughed. “In fact, we wanted to discuss something similar to that with you both.” She glanced up at Ronon and they both grinned at each other before they looked back at John and Rodney, and she said, “I’m pregnant. The doctor confirmed it a few days ago.”

“That’s great,” John said as Rodney said, “Congratulations!”

“And we were wondering if, in preparing for our own child, if you two would mind us watching your children from time to time – and maybe even overnight once or twice. Obviously, a six-year-old is much different from an infant, but we think the experience would be good for us. And I believe it would be good for the two of you as well. Being a single parent must be very hard, and I’m sure the two of you would enjoy the break.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do and you get used to it,” John replied with a shrug. “But, sure, you can baby-sit Lizzie whenever you want.”

“And you might as well take Jericho too,” Rodney told them. “I think he’d get jealous if he knew that Lizzie was doing it and he wasn’t. The two of them have been practically joined at the hip since they met.”

The kids giggled and Jericho looked up and said, “No we’re not, Dad. That would be *weeeird*.”

“It’s just an expression, Jericho,” Rodney told him, amused. “It means you spend a lot of time together. Would you like to spend time over at Ms. Teyla and Mr. Ronon’s house sometimes?”

Jericho grinned. “Sure – they’re cool.”

“How about you, Lizzie? Do you want to spend some time with them and Jericho too?” John asked her, worried that she’d think he might try to leave like Nancy did.

She bit her lip and looked between him, Teyla and Ronon, and Jericho before nodding. “Yes,” she replied, still looking a little unsure, but also resolved, and John had a feeling that they’d have a long talk before it actually happened.

“There you go,” Rodney said. “You’ve now got two kids on loan whenever you’d like to try your parenting skills.”

Teyla smiled. “Thank you,” she said. “This will be good for you two as well – it’ll give you some adult time for yourselves. And maybe each other – if that’s where you’re led.”

“We’ll see, Teyla,” John said with a slight roll of his eyes. “Let’s not go playing matchmaker again.”

“That was only one time!” she said indignantly. “And I apologized! I had no idea that she was in such a place or I would not have mentioned it.”

“Teyla set me up on a blind date,” John said to Rodney, “with a woman from her yoga studio. She sounded good on paper – our age, likes kids, all that. Well, she’s also a bit psycho and wants a huge family. We hadn’t known each other for five minutes and she was already talking about getting married and having more kids and how she was going to be a stay-at-home mom and all that. It was a disaster.”

“Sounds like it,” Rodney replied with a slight smile. “How’d you get out of it?”

“Thankfully, Lizzie did. She had been sick and I got a call from the sitter. I think I made a world record for getting out of that date.”

“We’ll talk later about the specifics,” Teyla said, bringing them back on topic. “But thank you.”

John nodded absently as he rubbed his thumb over Rodney’s skin. He liked the feel of the soft skin under his and the warmth of Rodney’s hand in his own. It had been a long time since he’d been with anyone and even just this small contact felt great.

After Teyla and Ronon went home, John and Rodney started parceling out their gifts and packing up Rodney’s and Jericho’s to go home. The kids moaned and groaned when they were ordered to clean up the game. John and Rodney finally reached a compromise when John carefully picked up the game and set it on the dining room table so they could continue the game at a later time.

As Jericho was putting on his coat, John slung and arm around Rodney’s shoulders and whispered in his ear, “Thank you for today. I had a great time.”

“You’re welcome,” Rodney replied with a warm smile. “I enjoyed it too. Might even rank as one of the best Christmases ever.”

“Wow. Either you’ve had some really shitty Christmases or we did something right,” John teased.

“A little of both,” Rodney told him. Rodney turned to John and gave him a proper hug. As he pulled away, he gave John a light peck on the lips. “We’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You bet,” John replied. “I think the kids would kill us if we kept them from their Monopoly game.”

“You do have a point,” Rodney said. “Okay, good night.”

“Good night, Rodney, Jericho,” John said.

“Bye!” Lizzie said from where she was sitting on the steps.

After John shut the door, he turned to Lizzie. “If you don’t want to go over to Teyla and Ronon’s house, you don’t have to,” he told her.

“You won’t leave me if I do, right?” she asked, looking worried.

“Nope,” he told her. “I’m not going to leave you – ever. You have my word. It might be fun. You’ll get to play with Teyla and Ronon and Jericho.”

“And maybe eat some of their food?” she asked. “Ms. Teyla’s a good cook.”

“She is and you might get to eat some of her food,” John told her. “And maybe have a sleep over with them. What do you think about that?”

Lizzie nodded. “Okay. Are you and Mr. Rodney in love?”

“What makes you say that, kiddo?” John asked as he leaned against the banister.

She shrugged. “You and he were holding hands today. And you kissed each other this morning. And you smile at each other a lot.”

John was about to tell her that a lot of people smile at each other, but she continued, “And it’s a mushy kind of smile – like in the movies. I like Mr. Rodney. Maybe more than Mommy.” She hesitated, a pained look on her face. “Is that bad?”

John shook his head as he came around the banister and up the steps. “No at all,” he told her as he gathered her up in his arms for a hug and sat down on the step. “Your mom isn’t an easy person to love. And... well... Rodney isn’t either, but he’s easier than your mom. And lots of people don’t like their moms and dads for lots of reasons.”

“Okay,” she said as she hugged him back. “It’s okay if you love him. Scott said his mom made sure he liked his new daddy before she fell in love with him.”

“She’s a smart lady,” John told her, thinking about Lizzie’s classmate and his mom and step-dad. “I don’t know if I’m ready to love anyone other than you yet though, kiddo.”

“Why not?” she asked, looking up at him.

John shrugged. “Maybe because I want you all to myself and if Rodney and I get together, I’ll have to share you with Jericho and Rodney.”

Lizzie giggled. “You’re silly, Daddy.”

“You think so?” he asked her.

Lizzie nodded as she smiled. “I don’t like seeing you sad, Daddy. Mr. Rodney makes you happy. So, you and Mr. Rodney should be together all the time.”

“But what if I don’t make him happy?” he asked her.

Lizzie rolled her eyes as if he was being stupid on purpose and said in her best ‘well *duh*’ voice, “I told you he smiles at you like you smile at him. And the way he watches you while you’re cooking when you’re not looking.”

“He does?” John asked, surprised.

She nodded. “He does. So, when are you and Mr. Rodney going to get married? Can I be the flower girl?”

John couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not as easy as that for Rodney and I, kiddo,” he told her as he squeezed his arms around her. “There’s a lot of things we have to think about first and take care of. And did Jericho tell you what he thinks of his dad and me?”

Lizzie nodded again, this time vigorously. “He thinks the two of you should be together too. He says he doesn’t like that his daddy’s sad because his mommy died.”

“How about I promise you that Rodney and I will try our best to fall in love and all that? But I don’t know for sure if it’ll happen because we might find out that we don’t like it,” he told her. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she replied with a nod.

“All right. Go get ready for your bath and then we’ll pick out one of your new books to read before bed, okay?”

Lizzie nodded as she hopped off his lap and headed upstairs. John sat on the steps for a long moment, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It seemed like everyone knew more about what they were feeling than he and Rodney did. And it was a little disconcerting. But he did like Rodney *a lot* and liked the direction they were going.

Lizzie’s call that she was ready snapped him out of his reverie and he went up to help her get ready for bed.

 

Once the kids went back to school, the two households happily fell back into their normal routine, with the addition of Lizzie and Jericho going to Teyla and Ronon’s once a week either in the afternoon/evening or overnight.

The first overnight was the hardest for John. He had to force himself to not call next door every hour to make sure she was doing okay and to reassure her he was still there. In the end, after about three hours of not hearing anything from next door, he called Rodney instead.

“I’m about to go crazy,” he said as soon as Rodney picked up.

“Me too,” Rodney told him. “Do you think it was a bad idea to let them go over there?”

“I don’t know,” John replied with a shrug. “I think it’ll be good for all of us in the long run. But this is the first time I’ve been without Lizzie overnight in six years. I’m not counting that sleepover because she came home before bedtime. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“I know what you mean,” Rodney said. “Even though I had Katie, it’s still odd. Why don’t you come over here? We can make dinner and commiserate that our kids are growing up and don’t need us anymore.”

“Sounds good,” John replied. “I’ll be over in a minute.”

As soon as he went inside Rodney’s house, he was greeted by Rodney pulling him in for a passionate kiss. John melted against Rodney and groaned into his mouth as he kissed him back just as hard. His hands roamed Rodney’s back and shoulders, not sure where to anchor themselves. When they pulled apart, they were both panting slightly and John was slightly dazed.

“I take it it’s been a while for you?” Rodney asked, glancing down at John’s waist before looking back up at him.

John looked down and saw that he was partially aroused. He blushed and tried to hide it. “Yeah, you could say that,” he said. “A little over six years.”

Rodney’s eyes widened. “You haven’t gotten laid since before Lizzie was born?”

John shook his head. “Nancy didn’t want to do it the last trimester and then she left and I didn’t feel comfortable bringing anyone home when I had a very small child in the house.” He shrugged. “After a while, I got used to it.”

“That’s just insane,” Rodney told him. “Okay, granted, I can understand where you’re coming from, but it’s still nuts.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence, Rodney,” John replied dryly. “It’s so nice to know you care.”

“Actually, I do care – a lot,” Rodney told him. “I know I’m horrible at expressing it, but I do. I like what we’ve been doing and what we’ve become. I know it’s still really vague and everything, and we’ve been really careful because the kids are always around and the times that they’re not, we’re running around trying to catch up on everything else, but I do really like where we’re going with this and I want to keep going and I want to be less vague and more specific. And I want there to be an actual ‘us’ and I want it to be exclusive and I want all of that. Okay, not necessarily hearts and flowers, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I think I do,” John replied, slightly winded from listening to Rodney’s one-breath babbling and also from the realization that he really wanted that too. A lot. “I know I do,” he amended. “I just – I don’t know, Rodney. I’ve got Lizzie to think about too and while she says she’s okay with you and me being together – you know what it’s like having to deal with the difference between theory and reality with a little kid.”

“Yes, I do,” Rodney said, playing with the front of John’s button-down shirt. “But I want to be selfish too. And even more than that, I want you to be selfish. You’ve been constantly giving, giving, giving since Jericho and I got here – and knowing you, long before that – that I want you to take for a while.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” John told him softly.

“I could argue that in the long run it’ll be better for you.” Rodney chuckled softly. “I’m sure I could even find some statistics to back me up to assuage your math-professor brain.”

“You probably could,” John replied with a small smile. “How about we make a deal? I’ll agree to being selfish tonight and we’ll see how things go before we make any more plans?”

“That sounds great,” Rodney said with a grin. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I’d better not,” John warned as Rodney leaned in and kissed him again, this time pushing him up against the closed door.

John let Rodney plunder his mouth and press a leg between John’s. He and Nancy had equally been the aggressor in their relationship, so being in this position wasn’t odd and kissing Rodney had stopped being odd a long time ago. He wrapped his arms around Rodney’s waist and pulled him even closer, letting his half-hard cock rub gently against Rodney’s groin, which elicited a slight moan from Rodney.

John smiled against Rodney’s mouth at that. He was definitely going to enjoy this. He let out a small gasp as Rodney’s mouth moved from John’s to his earlobe and gently bit on it before softly sucking on it. He let out a moan as Rodney’s mouth moved down and suckled on John’s pulse point. John moved his hands down to cup Rodney’s ass and he began rocking against Rodney.

Rodney pulled back, his expression one of blatant desire, as he said, “Let’s go upstairs.”

John nodded and swallowed loudly before managing, “Sounds good.” 

Rodney took John’s hand in his and led him upstairs, intermittently stopping along the way to kiss John again. When they reached the bedroom, John hesitated in the doorway, the enormity of what they were doing suddenly hitting him.

“It’s okay,” Rodney said softly, sensing his trepidation. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I promise – Scout’s honor.”

John let out a gruff laugh. “I doubt you were ever a Boy Scout.”

“Okay, maybe not a *Boy Scout*,” Rodney conceded. “But I was one of the Fort McMurray Lodge Fourteen Eager Beavers. It’s basically the same thing.”

“But more Canadian,” John replied, unable to keep himself from laughing.

“You bet,” Rodney replied, grinning.

When John finished laughing, the mood felt more relaxed and John was more sure of himself. He looked around the room and saw that it had the normal amount of Rodney clutter as the rest of the house, though the bed was neatly made and it looked inviting and comfortable – which, knowing Rodney, it would be – and that calmed him down even more.

“Okay?” Rodney asked him.

“Yeah, I think so,” John told him.

“Good,” Rodney said.

Then Rodney kissed John again, this time just as hungrily, and John could feel Rodney’s arousal pressing against his own. And instead of that knowledge freaking him out, it felt good. He experimentally rocked against Rodney, and Rodney rocked back. John liked the press of Rodney’s body against his.

“Okay, too much clothing,” Rodney announced as he pulled away from John.

John watched Rodney mutely as Rodney quickly kicked off his shoes and socks and discarded his shirt. Seeing Rodney’s broad chest naked was definitely more arousing than he ever expected it to be, with its sprinkle of hair and pert nipples that John was suddenly interested in playing with and sucking on.

“Come on,” Rodney said, snapping his fingers. “Let’s get moving here. We don’t have all night.”

“Actually, we do,” John replied with a lopsided grin.

“Oh, for the love of –” Rodney threw his hands up in the air before settling them on his hips. “That is the worst come-on ever.”

“Well, it’s good that we’re past that stage, isn’t it?” John asked him.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right,” Rodney said with a shake of his head. “It’s still horrible, though. But still, come on. Let’s see some skin here.”

“Are you sure about this?” John asked, his ardor cooling the longer he and Rodney didn’t have contact. “I mean, do you –”

“Yes, I want this, if that’s what you’re asking,” Rodney told him, picking up on John’s nervousness. “Believe me, we’re not doing this just because you haven’t gotten laid in forever. *I* want to do this and I *want* to do it *with you*. You got that?”

“Yeah,” John replied, slowly letting out his breath. “It’s just that I’ve never done it with a guy before.”

“I know,” Rodney told him with an understanding smile. “And I know you’re nervous about all of it, but it’ll be really, really good – I promise.”

“Okay,” John said as he began unbuttoning his shirt.

Rodney batted his hands away and took over at the second button. He deftly undid John’s shirt and disrobed him of it. He ran his hands over John’s hairy chest and along his stomach, a hungry look in his eyes.

“I take it you like what you see?” John asked him nervously.

“I definitely like,” Rodney told him. “And I should be asking you that question.”

“I definitely like,” John replied. He tucked his thumbs in his waistband and placed his hands over the clasp of his pants. “So....”

“We’ll take it slow,” Rodney told him and he wormed two fingers between John’s hands and undid his pants.

Rodney slid his hands between the fabric and John’s ass and pulled him forward for another deep kiss. John melted into the kiss, his desire returning and his nervousness fleeing. He wanted this more than he’d ever thought possible. Rodney shucked the pants and underwear down over John’s hips to pool on the floor. John kicked off his shoes and out of his socks and pants.

He stared back at Rodney, resisting the urge to blush or hide his half-hard cock. Rodney blatantly looked him over before removing his remaining clothing and it was John’s turn to stare. Rodney was definitely as solid as he looked clothed and his cock was hard and curving up towards his body.

John licked his lips and looked up at Rodney’s face and saw the smirk clearly written on it. “What?” he asked defensively.

“Nothing,” Rodney said.

Rodney moved in and kissed John again, obviously having realized that kissing was the way to go to keep John from freaking out and over-thinking what they were doing. Their cocks gently rubbed together and John moaned at the ripples of pleasure that washed outwards from his groin and his thoughts ground to a halt. Rodney maneuvered them over to the bed and pushed John backwards as soon as the backs of John’s legs hit the bed. Rodney was on top of him before John had time to catch his breath again and kissed him deeply as he rocked his cock with long, deep strokes against John’s. John moaned into Rodney’s mouth as he cupped Rodney’s ass and held him in place as he rocked back.

After so long, it was almost too much for him – Rodney’s solid weight on top of him, the way his mouth seemed to know exactly where to suck and with how much pressure, how his hands found all of John’s hot spots, the way his cock slid against John’s. John held on to Rodney and met him thrust for thrust as he enjoyed the ride. All too soon, John stiffened and came. Rodney soon followed, their cum mixing on their chests and stomachs.

Once they had regained some of their higher brain functions, Rodney got up and disappeared to return with a wet cloth for John to clean himself up.

“You lasted longer than I expected,” he commented.

“Haven’t you heard that good things come to those who wait?” John asked with a smirk as he threw the washcloth back at Rodney.

“Very funny,” Rodney said as he dumped it on the floor and climbed back in bed with John, this time pulling the covers over them. “You’re not going to freak out on me?” he asked. “Because I had another guy who thought he was bi do that and I think I’m still traumatized.”

“Nope, no freaking,” John replied. “It was good – really good.”

“Good,” Rodney replied with a smile. “And you’d better not regret this in the morning.”

“I don’t think I will be,” John said, returning the smile. “And I think we should do this again.”

“Well, I know a lot of other things we could do too,” Rodney told him with an impish grin. “Especially since I have a feeling we’re going to be together for a long time.”

“I think we are too,” John concurred. “Though, you do realize that now we definitely have to leave the Parents Without Partners group, don’t you?”

Rodney groaned and jabbed John in the shoulder. “You certainly do know how to ruin a mood.”

John just smiled and leaned in to kiss Rodney lightly on the lips. This was definitely not a topic that had ever been covered in one of their meetings, or something that could have been planned for, but considering their first meeting, it had ended much better than John had ever expected.


End file.
